The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/07/07
A lovely recounting of a very moving session.

Try to be more careful with tenses, and it's best if you put each speaker's words in their own paragraph...far easier to read that way. An extra "enter" at the end of each paragraph, and a look at the "Preview" button should do the trick.

Nice title, too.
You had some nice images here, especially at the beginning. But, like Jan said, you really ought to put a space between the paragraphs (and put each new speaker in a new paragraph).