The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/27/05
This is an intersting story and has lots of potential but... there are some flaws. I'd be happy to do a deeper (but not painful - sounds like invasive surgery) critique for you. Post me if you want one.
05/27/05
Good effort. It's an intriguing story line. With a little work and editing, you could have an excellent short story.
Thanks for posting.
Blessings, Lynda
05/27/05
Very nice entry! Love the take on giving his heart quite literally I might add ;)
05/27/05
nice work.. I like the twist. yours is the best entry I have read so far.
blessings