The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/30/07
Yep, if we're honest, we'd all admit to having those kind of disgruntled prayers every now and then.

Some tense-switching here, and a few punctuation errors to tidy up.

You ended it just right, with repentence and a renewed spirit.
11/30/07
Top to bottom this essay has a lot of potential. I am anxious to read your work after a little practice. Tense shift corrections and some dialog/character work and you are on the winner's list for sure, you have certainly captured the essential elements.
12/02/07
I was right there with your MC. Great voice.
I for one thank you! From the bottom of my heart! You bless me.