The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This is a good story. A few typos that are easily corrected. Keep writing.
You really engaged me in this likable and warm hearted story. I had a bit of trouble with the way the character's thoughts kept switching in verb tense. Someone once advised me to read my story out loud to myself to catch any troublesome spots. Sometimes, our ears will pick up what our mind misses! You're good with writing; try giving it a bit of polish so your entries really shine! I enjoyed reading this very much.
You've done a great job writing this! Love the butter-bean payment, a nice touch to the story and character development of Lela. This is an all-around heart-warming story, perfect for this time of year.
A wonderfully warm message and story. A bit of work on tenses would make this even stronger. I love the ending especially! Keep writing.