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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Valentine (05/16/05)

TITLE: A Sweet Surprise!


For lovers who lives 50 miles apart, the greatest gift on Valentine’s Day is to be together. It’s not the flowers, nor the candy that compels two people in love, who live apart to share Valentine’s Day.

I arrive at his house late in the evening expecting a quiet night of dinner and watching a ‘edge of your seat’ drama on television. The weather was crisp, not too cold nor too warm. I began to contemplate the menu for this evening by mentally making selections from his freezer. He stops me and asks me if I would like to go for a ride, while apologizing for not having purchased a gift for me. I assured him that that was quite alright and I agreed to take the ride. We began down one of the most busiest boulevards and noticed a lot of the vendors standing on the outside of their stores selling Valentine’s Day paraphernalia. I have never seen so many teddy bears in my life! After a few glances, my fiancé’ pulls over and parks the car around the back of this vendor‘s store. He’d noticed the expression on my face when we passed this vender who had a wall of teddy bears lined up from smallest to large. I was in awe. We walked towards the front of the store just to view the amazing site I’d just witnessed. Once up close, my fiancé began asking the store clerk the cost of certain bears as some of them that weren’t hanging on the wall were gift wrapped with a bottle of champagne, two glasses and assorted chocolates. As the clerk began chanting the prices of each gift wrapped bear, Al groaned because he knew he couldn’t afford to buy a gift for me. To break the tension, he asked me to go into the store, look around see if I liked anything inside. I thought this was kind of odd being that we didn’t have enough money to buy what I saw. I began looking and as he suggested and began to decide what I was going to carry home with me on this Valentine’s Day. Upon my selection Al says to me “ you decide and I will be right back, I’m going to the car .” I said ok. I was determined to have my mind made up by the time he returned. He returned. I was nervous and selected a very tiny bear with a single rose that cost under five dollars. He nudged me and said, “Um, I don’t like it, let’s go.” As we were walking out of the store and passed the store clerk whom gave us prices on the huge bears, my fiancé’ stopped me in midstream and handed me the gift wrapped teddy bear, the one with the bottle of champagne and assorted chocolates! My mouth dropped and my eyes were big. All I could say was, “ oh my goodness, no way!” he smiled and said, “the expression on your face is a gift all by itself, I love you!” This was the best Valentine’s Day ever.

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Member Comments
Member Date
dub W05/23/05
This is a good story, work on paragraphing and breakup some of the sequences.
Delores McCarter05/26/05
Good story. Just one comment, please help our peepers (eye balls) and add more line spaces. We want to give your story the attention that it deserves.