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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Encouragement (among believers) (11/08/07)

TITLE: The Unseen Battle
By Beckie Stewart
11/11/07


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"The victory is sure. For 40 years we have ruled this place. We will again."

"Yes, Master, and we will rid our domain of that do-gooder forever."

"Pride, is our man here?"

"Armed and ready to regain our leadership back, Master."

"Good. Places everyone."

The demon army swiftly hovered toward their human assignments as the meeting commenced. The demons sneered at the angels around their humans.

"Idiots," Pride snarled to the demon next to him, "We have them outnumbered almost three to one, regardless of their ten extra humans."

"We will rule here again," his partners boasted.

As the murmuring ceased, a woman in the front raised her hand, seeking permission from the moderator to ask a question. New to the position, he granted her request.

"Why have I been put on inactive status?"

"You broke church covenant when you broke fellowship with us."

"I have attended more than four Sundays this year."

"That is not the point. You stated you could no longer fellowship with us."

"I said because of the hardness of my heart, I could not fellowship here at this time."

"So, that means you broke covenant."

"That is ridiculous," a woman behind her chimed in.

One after another the people on the left side of the church flung their arguments at the moderator.

"Keep going. It's working," Discouragement cheered. "Look at their leader."

The pastor was leaning forward with his head in his hands and kept shaking his head side to side. As the bantering continued, the pastor slowly raised his head and hand.

"Mr. Moderator, please ask the Board to concede on their decision tonight."

The moderator requested the Board to stand and presented the pastor's request to them. The Board sought permission to discuss their decision in private.

"Yes," A loud applause arose from the demon forces.

"They eat out of his pocket," Rebellion stated as the Board and pastor left the room.

"Sergeant Pride, go give a battle report to my Generals; Pride, Arrogance and Power outside with our ruler."

About ten minutes later the pastor returned to his seat while the Board stood up behind the moderator.

"What are the angels doing," Pride nervously questioned his Master as he returned to his side. The angels had left their human assignments and were standing with the Board.

"I don't know, Pride."

"Board, what is your decision," the moderator inquired.

"We stand on our decision. A broken church covenant results in inactive status until the member returns to fellowship."

"What? No," the demons shouted in unison. "Master, what now?"

"Calm down. They have their flock unprotected. Station one demon on our people and the rest of our forces on their people, maneuvering your way toward their leader."

The demons dispersed among the congregation. As the demons sought to approach their enemies, they were blocked by shields of faith that the warriors had suddenly risen.

"Where did they come from," Pride screamed. "Fire your flaming missiles, men."

As each missile released from the bows, the demons watched as they rebound. The demons took a second glance and realized the saints were dressed in full armor including the breastplates of righteousness, loins of truth, feet of peace, and helmets of salvation.

"What is going on here," the demons exclaimed as they felt the slashing of the Spirit's sword upon them. The people on the right were not arguing but whispering prayers. The people on the left were saying all kinds of things that made no sense at all.

"Get their leader. It is the only chance we have now," the Master commanded the army.

"What is that," Discouragement yelled. "Their entire force left the Board and are now around their leader."

The demons shook their heads in disgust. "We can't get near him now," Discouragment said.

With one icy glare they observed that holding the pastor were Humility, Patience, Endurance, Love, Mercy, and Grace. Pride tightened up his lips, squinted his eyes, and began searching for his master.

"Where is our Master?"

The Master had abandoned his troops. As the demons retreated in defeat, they growled and hissed.

"We cannot win now that unity and encouragement surround this pastor and his saints."


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This article has been read 577 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Seema Bagai 11/16/07
A creative look at the way the spiritual world both attacks (demons) and encourages (angels). Good job.
Sheri Gordon11/19/07
Your storyline is very good. A great message and reminder.

The large amount of dialogue had me a little confused. You might want to try a few more descriptive tag lines to set the story. (For instance, I'm still not sure what the big fight was about. Was it over the woman who hadn't been to church in a while?) I left the story a bit confused.

You write very well. The dialogue between the demons seemed realistic, and the story is good for this topic. Keep writing.
Yvonne Blake 11/19/07
This is an interesting point of view. I was confused when the focus shifted to the meeting. A transition sentence would have helped. There were a lot of characters to follow. Perhaps just focusing on one demon and one Christian would have been better.
I like the way you showed support through prayer.
Janice Cartwright11/20/07
I like the way you showed spiritual forces at war behind the scenes for truly our battle is not of flesh and blood but against wicked spirits in high places. Just a little tweaking as per some of the above comments will make this article shine.

I did note a couple of small errors - risen instead of raised and rebound where it should be rebounded. But these were minor and easy to fix.

Keep writing - you have talent and a great imagination.
Dee Yoder 11/20/07
You have a great imagination! I agree with the other comments that the dialogue, though very good, needs just a few more tags to let me know which demon, angel, or human is speaking. Once I know who is saying what, this story will flow with a great impact at the end. It IS very good-just needs a bit of work to separate who is speaking, that's all. Creatively, it's wonderful!
Beth LaBuff 11/20/07
Hey, I really like this. You have woven quite a story! It's in the style of Frank Peretti. This is a great reminder of the spiritual battles going on. Your title is perfect. Don't be discouraged, this is good.
Joanne Sher 11/21/07
You had me on the edge of my seat throughout. Wonderful character development. I also caught some minor errors, but nothing difficult to fix. Enjoyed this VERY much.
Betty Castleberry11/21/07
Very nice portrayal of spiritual warfare. As a few others have said, I see a few minor errors, but it doesn't detract from this very entertaining read. Well done.
LaNaye Perkins11/21/07
I agree, you did a very good job describing spiritual warfare. Great imagination and great writing!