The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/15/07
I could feel the main character's strong emotions come through in this piece.

Some editing will make this a more polished piece. Keep writing.
11/15/07
There is meaning here, depth towards the end. Starting out with "And" made me feel in the middle of something and a little off balanced.
But there is good here, keep writing !!
I thought this was a good start, but went to fast with the message.