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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Evangelism (11/01/07)

TITLE: Fulfilled
By Skittles .


A buzzer rang backstage, startling Jessica out of prayer.
“Teen drama in the wings!” the shrill voice called.

Jessica pulled her auburn back into a ponytail as she stepped on stage beside the teen who was playing as Jesus. The lights turned on, Jessica’s eyes scanned the audience. Light glinted off the studded belts and ringed fingers of a teenaged punk girl. Long black-blue hair hung over her shoulder.

Jessica couldn’t help feeling that the heavily painted eyes of the girl in the audience were fixed on her.

The music began. Jessica played here parts well, swept away in the dance of the play. Often as she could, Jessica glanced at the punk girl in the front row. She was leaning forward, enthralled in the performance. The girl’s mouth open as she cheered with the other watchers. Jessica smiled. Thee final notes of music echoed out into the night. The punk girl rose to applaud, only to be pulled back down by the girl beside her. The girl glanced at her three punk friends beside her, they shrugged. Jessica bowed, staring strait at the girl she mouthed:

“Jesus loves you!”

The girl must have known the message was directed at her because she pointed at herself and mouthed back:


Jessica nodded. Ignoring the crowd, Jessica walked across the front of the stage.

“Hi,” she whispered, kneeling down beside the girl, “my name is Jessica, what is you name?”

“Nichole,” the girl answered, casting a nervous glance at the girl on her left.

The punk beside Nichole narrowed her eyes. She glared at Jessica. Jessica paid no attention the glowering girl.

Nichole ducked her head, “Jessica, I don’t mean to sound rude, but you seem different from the rest of us.”

Jessica nodded, “that’s because I accepted Jesus into my heart. He is my savior, and he died on a cross for me on Calvary to save me from my sins so I wouldn’t have to die. “

Nichole sucked this in, her eyes begging for more, “why did he do that?”

“Because he loves you, he loves you enough to die for you. He didn’t stay dead Nichole, he defeated death and rose again. He will forgive you of all your sins. Just like on the play, he has forgiven me of my sins, he can do the same for you too. Would you like to ask Jesus into your heart?”

Nichole began to nod. The girl beside Nichole grunted. She nudged Nichole with her elbow and muttered something in her ear. Nichole shivered.

“I can’t be a Christian. Rachel wont be my friend if I do.” Nichole murmured.

Jessica shook her head, noticing two of the other punks were listening intently, “God will give you knew friends. He has already given you one. Me. Would you like to ask Christ to be your savior?”

Nichole didn’t ask for Rachel‘s opinion. She nodded, eyes brimming with tears. Jessica took hold of Nichole’s hand and began to pray. Then Nichole poured out her heart to God. The radiance of her face told Jessica of Nichole’s decision to accept Christ. Jessica smiled.

“Its amazing! I feel full and bubbling with joy!” Nichole beamed.

“Come with me. We’ll go and talk to the pastor,” Jessica urged.

Nichole stood up and followed Jessica. Jessica glanced back over her shoulder to smile encouragingly at Nichole, she was startled to see the two of the other punks came along. Jessica was overjoyed, by helping Nichole come to Christ, two others were ready for the good news as well.

‘Praise be to God, I have given hope to these people.’ thought Jessica

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This article has been read 414 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Kristen Hester11/13/07
You do an excellent job SHOWING the reader the action instead of just TELLING! Thank you for this. You have some great desriptions. This is also a very unique setting.

There are a few minor grammar issues that could be easily fixed.

Great job.
Marita Vandertogt11/13/07
Nice character descriptions and good dialogue. You make the reader feel part of the action. Just a few tiny typos, but other than that, well written.
LauraLee Shaw11/13/07
You did such a great job on this entry! Your opening sentence was great, the content in the middle was engaging, and your ending left the reader wanting more. So excellent!!!!
Anothervoice Sunstar11/13/07
Nice job. Good dialogue.
Jan Ackerson 11/14/07
Teens will love reading this!

To set the scene for such a sudden change of heart, you may want to help us to get to know this girl's spirit a bit better. As it is, her openness seems a bit unrealistic. It's hard to change a whole person in only 750 words!

I hope this story finds a big audience.