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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Sunday School (10/25/07)

TITLE: Singing, Dancing and Saving
By Therese Witkus
10/31/07


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Singing, Dancing and Saving

She moved her eyes as far right as she could without turning her head, because gawking was most certainly rudeness, and she still didn’t see them. If she kept very still and squished in between Auntie Louise and Arianna they might not even notice her at all. She checked her feet again, and this was no dream, those shiny black shoes were still there, covering the toes of the pretty white socks with lace on the cuffs. She wanted to tap her feet just to hear the shoes touching on the polished wood floor, but she was afraid to make people look at her. She could dance in these fine shoes even if the heels did slide a tiny bit, she could just scrunch her toes a little and hold on.

Auntie Louise was squeezed close to her on the left and she felt good wearing the dark blue dress that cousin Arianna had given her. The dress was only used one time and was as clean as could be, and Arianna had said she was to keep it. It seemed a little scratchy and that little piece sewn in the collar kept on poking her neck, but it was sure beautiful and she could make do to wear that dress all day long, if Auntie Louise would let her.

While they were standing up and singing, she looked around Auntie Louise over to the left and still no sign of them. The singing was loud and happy and she liked the piano playing and the clapping. Her heart felt like a bird singing up high in a tree where no one could get to it. Some of the ladies had on long robes and sat over near the preacher. These ladies sang the loudest and moved around, almost like dancing.

After the singing, they sat down and she looked around quick but no one looked at her special. The preacher was telling a story about a man called Jeremiah and it meant a lot to him, you could tell because he was getting worked up and waving his arms around some. There was to be a battle and killing and sadness coming, just like Mama said, before they took her away. And then Preacher told us to bow our heads and pray to God for saving. “Dear God, please save me and Mama and make my Mama well so she can take me home again,” Beth Ann prayed inside. “And could you fix it so we can get in the church again? I know Mama wants to come, too.”

When the singing and praying was through, Preacher shook hands and talked like he had got over his upset. He showed his teeth when he smiled and touched the children on their heads like a daddy might. Arianna said they wouldn’t go home yet, they were to stay for Sunday school. Well, she didn’t know about school on Sundays but she still had the dress and shoes on and so far, they hadn’t found her so she held Arianna’s hand and lined up for school.

The teacher, Miss Rose had the softest, sweetest voice Beth Ann had ever heard. She smiled right into her eyes and then said how sorry she was about Mama’s troubles. She had all the children sit down and hear about the man, Jeremiah. She told us how the story happened long ago but we needed to keep hearing about it so we would be right with Jesus. That was the best news she could have told and Mama would be so glad to know it, too. Maybe she wouldn’t need to worry so much.

They did some more singing, without the piano, but it was fun and still sounded good. Then Miss Rose said to ask any questions they had and to put their minds at peace before they started out the week. After some children had asked their questions, she put up her hand just like they did at regular school.

Miss Rose smiled and called on her, “Yes, Beth Ann, what would you like to ask today?”

Beth Ann’s eyes darted right and left, out the windows and back to Miss Rose. “ I’m wondering where the spiteful holy rollers are, Miss Rose. They’ve been keeping me and Mama out of the church in our town for a long time now and I just don’t know how they let me get in here today.”


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This article has been read 442 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 11/01/07
I loved, loved, loved this. The POV was gorgeous; I really fell for this little girl.

My only slight issue is with the ending--the "holy roller" bit sort of came out of the blue.

The writing? Fantastic.
Anothervoice Sunstar11/04/07
What a great telling. Good reminder of how children take things so literally. Especially effective having the little girl continually looking around wondering where "they" were.
Lynda Schultz 11/05/07
Surprise ending, but makes this an especially cute story. It might not have been your intent, but I applaud the church where the pastor preaches on the same subject that is then followed up on in Sunday School. That's good Christian Education.
Kristen Hester 11/08/07
First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on placing 3rd. It's time to move up, my friend!

I loved this sweet story. It was precious and you did a great job on your POV. I could really picture this little girl, enjoying her new dress and being in Sunday School, but alway fearful of "them."

Keep up the good work! Blessings.

(PS-Thanks for the comments on my stories.)
Debbie Wistrom11/08/07
Congrats on your placing, welcome to the next level.
I loved the mystery of who Beth Ann was looking for and the revelation of it at the end. No diplomacy in the little ones. I too like that the teacher taught the same lesson from the sermon. Keep writing.
Paula Titus 11/09/07
Congratulations on your third place entry! I really love the voice of the child in your story, so true to reality. Greay writing.
Joanne Sher 11/10/07
I love all the detail in this piece - I was right there with this darling little girl - and that last line was absolutely PERFECT. Congrats on your placing, and thanks for your comment on mine. :)


   
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