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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Sunday School (10/25/07)

TITLE: Just A Few Miles Down The Road
By Clarence (Sonny) White
10/29/07


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Just A Few Miles Down The Road

The old man sat quietly
Waiting out his time
Drawing on his bank of memories
As old thoughts filled his mind

Seems it was only yesterday
With Mom and Dad he would go
To a small vine covered country chuch
Just a few miles down the road

With eager anticipation
He would gladly find a space
On a bench with other children
In this very special place

With book in hand the teacher
Would read to them a spell
All kind of bible stories
Like Jona and the whale

David and Goliath
God ascending to above
This very special lady
Taught them all about God’s love

Taught them to recite “The Lord’s Prayer”
They memorized it well
Taught them there is a heaven
And also there’s a hell

It was she, who helped to shape his life
The direction that he should go
In Sunday school, a little country church
Just a few miles down the road

Proverbs 22 verse 6 KJV; Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.


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This article has been read 581 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sharlyn Guthrie11/02/07
I could envision the vine-covered country church in your poem. This flowed well, although the last two stanzas seemed to have a different meter than the rest. Nice work overall, and keep writing!
Jan Ackerson 11/02/07
Lots of sweet nostalgia in this poem.

One improvement would be to work on having a pattern of stressed and unstressed syllables. That would make it flow more easily for your readers.

I really like your title; it feels rustic and real.
Leigh MacKelvey11/05/07
Your title was very good and will draw readers in. The flow was good except in a few places. Try using slant or near rhymes at times when a perfect rhyme will stop the poem from making sense or saying what you really want it to say. Loved the vine covered churh! Definitely keep on writing!
Lynda Schultz 11/05/07
Very nice. It's got such a homey feel to it.
Sheri Gordon11/05/07
I am not a poetry person, but this is really sweet. I felt like I was reading it in an old magazine, with a picture of a vine covered church.

A couple of typos -- other than "church." Jonah needs the 'h', and Bible should always be capitalized.

This is very nice. Good job with the topic.
LauraLee Shaw11/06/07
A "challenge buddy" might help you with the logistics, but your title is great. You have a very creative and captivating style.
Brenda Welc11/07/07
Great poetry! Thanks for sharing this!
Betty Castleberry11/07/07
Oh, this was a very sweet and nostalgic read. I enjoyed it.
Joy Faire Stewart11/07/07
I know very little about poetry, but I thoroughly enjoyed this. Your vivid descriptions make it feel real.