The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 581 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
10/26/07
Some beautiful descriptions in this piece. Good work.
10/26/07
Good descriptions. The beginning was a little dry, but you got better as you went on. I especially liked the paragraph that told how difficult is was to walk into the water and how you compared it to your previous attitude.
This is a good story - I enjoyed reading it and journeying with the character.
The transition to the penny part was a bit abrupt but I think the representation of tossing the penny into the lake as a recollection of baptism is brilliant .
10/30/07
Love the descriptions, especially in the last few long paragraphs of this piece. Very vivid.
10/31/07
Nicely done, and it's hard to believe this is a first entry. Good job.

It might be a tad more effective if you introduce the penny idea early in the piece, then return to it in the end. As is, it's a bit abrupt: I thought, where'd that penny come from?

Strong entry.
10/31/07
This is really good. Are you sure you haven't done this before? :)

I agree with Jan's comment. The penny kind of comes from nowhere. I would have liked a little more explanation about that. Why a penny? When/how did that ritual start? Was this the first time you threw the penny?

Very good writing. Clear, descriptive, good message, flows smoothly. Welcome aboard -- you won't be in beginners for long.
11/01/07
Wonderful first entry, welcome to Faithwriters! The piece flowed nicely. Keep up the great writing, always remember that God writes through you what He wants the world to see. Be Blessed!
11/01/07
Congratulations on your highly commended. This is one of my favorite pieces. Good job.