The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/27/07
This is great for the upper-elementary set. You did a good job of explaining right on a kid's level.
There are a few grammar and punctuation issues, but this is very strong otherwise. Enjoyed the read!
10/30/07
Good dialogue - I could see the action:) nice writing. Something I learned is to capitalize Mom and Dad if used as their name and not after my, your etc. Keep writing!! You told a great message!
10/30/07
Cute story and well explained on the issues that we ALL wonder about...even us adults! I'll never forget my senior year when a boy broke up with me because I didn't believe that baptism saved people. It forced me to delve into what I really believed on the subject, and after that, I was glad he wasn't my boyfriend anymore. Good job!
10/30/07
This would make a great Sunday School paper.

I thought that at times the boy's dialogue wasn't quite realistic for a child. It was too correct, if you know what I mean.

Very sweet story.
11/01/07
A very touching story, and well explained. The mother could have also used the thief on the cross as an example. The thief wasn't baptized either, but Jesus promised him on that Friday that he would be in Paradise with him when He comes into His glory on Resurrection Day! Right? Good Job!
I liked the way you deliverd your message on baptism through showing and not just telling. I enjoyed the conversation between the boy and his mom. Sometimes it did seem a little formal for a casual conversation, but overall a very good job.

Watch out for too many commas. They give me trouble, also. I finally found a sight on the internet and I printed out the rules. It helps some, but I still struggle with commas.

Good job!