The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/25/07
Sweet story with a precious main character.
Very good writing! I can almost see myself in the story with the characters adn feel their emotions.
Some unnecessary commas:

through the buckle, as she watched
But, her mother had
into the sanctuary, just as soon
older couple, and
Otherwise very good story telling!
I enjoyed this...saw some minor grammar issues, but otherwise, done well. I can relate to the desire for a mother's salvation like this young girl, but have not know that joy.
10/30/07
What a heart warming story. I loved it. Keep up the great writing!