The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/18/07
What a rewarding trip that must have been!

In your 2nd paragraph, you slip into second person for a moment (in the sentence beginning "The entire classroom..."). And much of this is written with passive verbs--try punching them up a bit for a more engaging read.

Great title!
10/20/07
To God be the glory indeed! Interesting read.
10/21/07
Wow this must have been an amazing journey! I enjoyed this testimony very much. Nicely written.
10/22/07
Though I have never been to Zambia, I loved your description of the slow pace, food, friendliness of the people, and requirements for careful living in most southern African nations. I also liked the fellowship during work. There is just one problem: Dysentery and cholera are serious water borne diseases; malaria is only spread by mosquitoes.
10/25/07
I really, really like this entry. The story is inspirational, and the writing is very good. Wonderful job with the topic.