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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Fellowship (among believers) (10/11/07)

TITLE: The Ignited Wick
By Shayne Catoe


'Round about me strangers gathered, in similarity of purpose. None gazed upon my countenance, but looked towards that of another, one unseen and nearer than I to them. We were in likeness as to trees, but a forest all together. We gathered nourishment from that unseen source. Five senses not grasping, my soul, nay spirit, joined in choir with these strange gatherers, to plug into their sense of what they beheld. Alas, nothing!

Amidst them I bade their pardon, as to what the object of the focus could be. They had begun singing softly together, but stopped, upon my misunderstood lack of harmony.

"What do I lack that you have already obtained? How is it you are in unity together?" I begged.

"What you lack, we once did as well, but you need not any longer." Answered the one who glowed.

"It is freedom from the wrath of God by the One who drank the cup consumed with it." Said the
shimmering face said.

"How it is you are in unity together as individuals?" I said, groping for the understanding they possessed.

"You are one of the many unlit wicks waiting for the fire to ignite within." Said the one who seemed to guide the rest in union, before their unseen Source of Harmony.

"UNLIT? Just what is meant by that? Am I less than these which glisten, that you should reckon me unlit?" I riled. At these words heads drooped in shame, or was it so? Lips moved, muffled sounds came, lights knelt, and a feeling of guilt rose from within me.

"Why had I responded with so angry a tongue?" I pondered.

"What does it mean to be lit?" I wondered aloud with no foreknowledge to it.

"To be lit is to beheld, and to become the Eternal Kings shinning glory." Said the guiding one.

"What is this Kings name?" I stuttered to know.

"King Jesus!" They sung in unity.

Dropping on my knees I began to plead with this King. I knew He would light me if I would but ask.
"Cleanse me with the burning Flame of the blood spilt Lamb You are. How could I have known You wanted me, unless You had sent these to light the way with your Words. Rescue me from the lair of the enemy and his henchmen. Forgive the depth of my darkness from which I now turn. Light my wick with Your own that I may shine in unison with you and these dear bright glowing ones. My light is for Your eternal use."

In that moment came clarity of no uncertain love and pure response to my wretched being. Leaning over me was the Flame igniting me. The Savior first, showing His glory to my wick, kindling me with His own Eternal Spark. Then were miraculous plans of His unfolding in my heart as I glanced to see my brother flames dancing by my side, rejoicing over this soul who burns alive, who once was dead. Now is transformation, glorifying all of us in light to worship Kingdom's Son. FOREVER WILL WE BURN!

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Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 10/18/07
Written with a unique voice, and with a great title.

Work a bit on conventions of writing dialog. For example, the tag for this sentence...

"What you lack, we once did as well, but you need not any longer." Answered the one who glowed.

...should look like this:

"What you lack, we once did as well, but you need not any longer," answered the one who glowed.

You might also consider moving the position of your dialogue tags (to the beginning or middle of the sentence), or eliminating them altogether. This will give you a great variety of sentence structures.

I'm eager to see who wrote this; you have a creative and fresh voice.

LauraLee Shaw10/20/07
This is amazingly creative! I was distracted a bit by the spelling and grammar errors, but I enjoyed it just the same! :)
Donna Powers 10/21/07
This is really interesting and it kept my attention throughout. I love your way with words. Very well done.