The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I like the way you ended this...just a note of hope, but no pat endings.

This piece could be so wonderful with corrections in tense usage, sentence fragments, and run-on sentences. Just some polish...

You've painted a wonderful picture of this gal. Thanks.
You gave us a hint of the story and left us wondering what might happen next - great job! This was a good description with just enough in the ending to give us hope.
This is a great story of hope for the growing christian. I liked the way that you wrote this story.
Great job! Keep writing!