The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
I did not expect the twist at the end. It was a powerful story and it made me sad that the friendship ended. I think the ending would have been stronger if you would have ended with "mansion." Just my two cents. Great job!
10/19/07
This gave me goosebumps! What an unexpected tragedy to read at the end of the story. Very realistic viewpoint of fellowship and community.
10/20/07
Beautifully written, so poignant and touching.

I paused a bit at inviting her to sit in the chair that you had in your arms. You'd have to be very strong! LOL, an easy edit--either just have her sit, or put the chair down...

That's a minor nitpick for a very strong and moving entry.
10/21/07
This was very good and also a good reminder to keep reaching out to others.
Laury
10/22/07
There is so much here I wish you had more word count to work with. Tragic ending, I was moved. You gripped my attention in the begin and I gasped in shock as the events unfolded. Great writing.
Really enjoyed this....read from beginning to end and was quite captivated by the reality of this story.
10/22/07
A very moving story with a terribly sad ending. The story touched me and it was a wonderful picture of a special friendship.