She stood before she knew it. Although she had done it before, this felt different. Gripping the pew in front of her, she fought the desire to fall to her knees. She made her way to the aisle, occasionally tapping someone on the arm to get past. They were worshiping and no one wanted to leave His presence.
Her tears flowed freely as she walked. They had once been full of shame and sorrow but today she knew she was forgiven. She was desperate --- desperate and broken. The music draped over her soul like a freshly dried blanket, warm and comforting.
With reckless abandon, Lord, I come to you…
The words welled up from her heart and stuck in her throat. She choked out sobs as tears streamed down her face. With tears blurring her vision, she still looked to see if anyone noticed her disheveled appearance. No one noticed. Hands were raised all over the sanctuary. Eyes were closed. Voices were uplifted. Tears poured from every eye.
Lord, you’ve captured my heart today…
The music swelled to a confession that met her level of hunger and desperation.
Lord, I give you everything! My life, my love to you I give!
As she met the mass of people collected at the altar, she felt her soul cry out. She dropped to her knees beneath an invisible weight. Lord, I need you! I can’t do this by myself! I’m tired of being by myself! Will you help me? Will you make me whole? Will you make the hurting stop? She caught her tears in her hands and she wept bitterly. Why had she taken so long?
She felt a hand on her shoulder. She didn’t even turn to see who it was. She was taken in a way that she had never been before. She knew she was standing in the presence of the almighty God and there was nothing she could do but yield.
Lord, you’ve captured my heart in so many ways. Lord, you’ve captured my heart today.
She felt comfort, true comfort. She did not know what laid ahead for her but she knew she had met the true and living God of the Bible for the first time. And as she had stood and walked to meet Him, she knew He had met her where she was with all of her hurt, pain, baggage and sin. She had been a disappointment but that was in the past. Condemnation left as the musicians played quietly. The preacher waved his hand, signaling the musicians to stop the music.
“He is here. Can you feel him? The Lord has shown up. He has come to meet you.”
She wept at the thought of someone loving her enough to come to her, looking for her, not interested in what she had but who she was and how she was doing. She felt loved.
The preacher continued. “Let’s just take the time to thank Him and let Him know how much we love Him.” A slow, constant rumble washed across the sanctuary. She felt it in her chest and vibrate in her knees. She heard yelling and weeping. She sobbed and sobbed, trying to say more, but all she could manage was “thank you.” As she spoke, she unclasped her hands and lifted them toward heaven for the first time, as if asking her Heavenly Father to pick her up. And He did….
“… for the Father seeketh such to worship him.” (John 4:23b)
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