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Scattered to the Wind
Odd bits of paper and leaves swirled all around as the breeze huffed and puffed into the autumn afternoon. The windows of the house were wide open in the hopes of enticing the fresh air inside. I needed a clear mind and so far, my thoughts and feelings darted about from one idea to another so quickly that I could hardly see one before the next appeared.
Writing this letter could be one of the most important steps of my life’s journey. If only there was more time to get this done, I thought, and then had to face myself. Over the years, I had imagined writing the letter and then, just as now, my thoughts would scatter and it would become a task to be saved for another day when “the time was right”. How could I have allowed him to believe that he deserved the nightmare of guilt and shame, knowing that the fault was mine alone? And this is where my mind found reasons and causes and justifications and tried to fix the truth to sound better.
But time has run out and the story has to be revealed. “What will people think of me, who will even speak to me, who will ever care for me again?” my heart wailed. The breeze lifted the cover of my writing tablet and there among the softly colored flowers stood out the bold-faced words, “The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.”* Yes, the truth will set me free.
A deep peace settled within me and I became calm in my spirit. With a great sigh, I nestled into the chair, my hands stopped shaking and my mind sorted through the ideas of the most important letter I would ever write. The words began to flow onto the page with perfect ease. The letter began, “ Please forgive me …”
Scripture: Psalm 145:18 NIV
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