Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Calm (emotionally) (09/13/07)
TITLE: Calming the storm
By Laura Gibson
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I was feeling low, and I was feeling angry. Iím estranged from my family, (a long long long story), and for the past two summers, I have not been to the family cottage. A place where I grew up, where I was sheltered and loved by my gram, and felt like home. As Labor Day came and went, I thought I was OK. I thought I had escaped the pit of anger, rejection, resentment, jealously, add to the list what youíd like, it would most likely fit! But I did not escape. All the denial, all the ignoring, all the renaming it, and all the distractions I could muster, just prolonged the inevitable.
I was tired from helping a friend pack, clean, and move out of her apartment. Sheíd been evicted. I felt so bad for her and her three kids. They are such good kids, and so smart. We are new friends, and I wanted to help her as best as I could. I offered to have them stay with me. Not that I had so much extra room, I had NO extra room, but they had NO roof over their heads. She took me up on my offer, I was thrilled. As it turned out, the kids went to their fatherís house, and Beth, their mom, came here. Itís been two weeks and things are going ok. But Iím tired and found myself crying, a lot. But God is with me, as He would reveal.
I was traveling in the car in an area where 104.9 (Christian radio) comes in. And again I am crying, poor poor pitiful me. I decided not to tune out the program. The Pastor was talking gently, yet firmly. He was saying why I should NOT be focused on myself. He was saying that it does no good to be in the state of self absorption. He was saying that it does harm to be so focused on self pity, that it is just not right to do so. He was using words and emphasis on words that made me take an abrupt look at the radio. He was saying that the energy I am giving to self pity, should be turned to helping someone! Lord have mercy! He was talking to ME! At that moment a supreme satisfaction came over me. I just knew that God was guiding me, and itís overwhelming. All that I am God loves, He made me, and what I strive to be. He is the One I want to be in good graces with. I am digging out of my pity pit, with His help. I am smiling, calmly.
The message from this Pastor has inspired me to seek my dream. My lifeís journey, and what I have learned, I think, is preparing me to work for God in a special way. God has given me an empathetic heart, and I must use that to help people in a concrete way. I pray too that God will use me to minister to Beth for Godís glory, and that she would accept Jesus into her heart, and be born again.
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