The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
09/13/07
What a nice tribute to Jade--I hope you share this with her!

A few forced rhymes here and there, and your title, although it picks up on one of the stanzas, doesn't really seem to match the piece.

I feel as if I know Jade after reading this sweet poem.
09/15/07
This is a nice tribute to your daughter. She sounds very special!
Laury
09/17/07
Nice flow and rhythm. I like the repeated "daughter" at the end of each stanza. The "beat" was a little off in a couple of the lines, making me stumble - but you wrote a very descriptive portrait of your daughter's life and your crusade. :)
09/17/07
Lovely tribute to your daughter. She'll cherish this always, I'm sure, and think about your joy and pride in her through her coming years! That's a beautiful present from a mother to her daughter.
I really enjoyed your tribute! It made me think of all that is ahead for me and my daughter. It also blessed me to know that you can "train a child up" in this culture and the child still seek the Lord for herself. Thanks for that affirmation! Ditto on the comments/critique of the others. I hope you will share this with your daughter too!!
09/18/07
You gave me some wonderfully vivid images of your daughter - and I like the rhyme of this piece. A bit of work on the meter and this lovely piece would be even more so.
09/19/07
Neat, neat thoughts about your daughter. I like your format and repitition of the word "daughter".

I thought this rhyme was especially good, "What shall her future now impart, Most certainly will impact a heart,"
Very nice. I,too, feel like I know Jade. I know she will treasure this poem always. Blessings!
What a nice heartfelt poem. You sound very proud, as you should be of such a wonderful daughter. Very nicely done.