The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/13/07
Great, vivid descriptions and an absolutely delightful story. Wonderful and precious.
09/14/07
Nice use of present tense in this tender little slice-of-life.

The sentence that begins Bottom freshly powdered and diapered, mommy... might need to be re-worked a tad; on first glace, it appears as if you've written about mommy's bottom. Eek!

I really liked this peaceful little essay.
Very sweet. When you mentioned the baby's flailing arms and legs, I could see it all very clearly. Nicely done.
09/18/07
What a pleasant first surprise! The present tense approach made me feel as if I was rushing around with Mommy, trying to get everything done with her.
Nice job.
09/18/07
Really cute! I enjoyed this little bit of baby time again. It's been many years since I had this experience with my own baby, but your story sure brings the memories right back. Good job!