Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Surprised (09/06/07)

TITLE: Peek-A-Boo!
By Laury Hubrich
09/11/07


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Rushed to get things done before baby wakes up from her nap, mommy settles the problems of a three and five-year-old as she washes dishes, picks up toys, and cooks supper. She is ever mindful of the baby monitor close at hand. The panicked feeling builds as she hears “wakey” up noises – crinkling sheets, rattling, spinning toys, and baby gurgles and coos. Jill settles the boys in front of the TV, puts a load of clothes in the wash and swipes the counters and high chair with a rag.

“Hi, Maggie!” Mommy swoops into the room and picks up the excited baby. Bottom freshly powdered and diapered, mommy and daughter sit in the rocking chair. Mommy lifts one side of her shirt and Maggie settles in at the breast. She takes big gulps of milk and a tiny trickle dribbles across her cheek. Burped and content Maggie is set in her seat and Jill talks with the boys.

Maggie starts to feel left out of this mommy/brother interaction and begins to fuss. Jill pulls the seat in front of her and looks baby Maggie in the eyes. Baby flails her arms and legs. Mommy covers her face with her hands. After a few seconds baby is concerned that mommy has left and begins to cry. Seeing this through parted fingers, mommy suddenly pulls away her hands and in a high-pitched voice calls out, “Peek-a-Boo!” After a second’s hesitation, eyes wide, Maggie is startled and she jumps. She then lets out a belly laugh and even the boys look away from their cartoon to laugh at their baby sister.

Baby settles down and stares expectedly into her mommy’s face waiting for the next show. Again, mommy covers up her face with her hands, waits for just the right time and then calls out, “Peek-a-Boo!” Forgetting what had just happened a few minutes before, Maggie jumps, her eyes grow BIG and she giggles. Pure and simple joy permeates from the little girl’s body and she shakes with excitement.

As Jill plays the silly little game with the girl she loves so much, she thinks about how we are to change and become like little children so that we can enter the Kingdom of Heaven. If only we could look at the world with a baby’s eyes, full of wonder and surprise, how much more fun would this life be?

The boys take over playing with their sister and Jill once again jumps up and scurries around the house finishing up supper, putting clothes in the dryer, and sweeping the kitchen floor. This time, however, she can’t help but smile as she thinks of the wide-eyed giggles of surprise from her delightful daughter.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 809 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 09/13/07
Great, vivid descriptions and an absolutely delightful story. Wonderful and precious.
Jan Ackerson 09/14/07
Nice use of present tense in this tender little slice-of-life.

The sentence that begins Bottom freshly powdered and diapered, mommy... might need to be re-worked a tad; on first glace, it appears as if you've written about mommy's bottom. Eek!

I really liked this peaceful little essay.
Betty Castleberry09/17/07
Very sweet. When you mentioned the baby's flailing arms and legs, I could see it all very clearly. Nicely done.
Deborah Engle 09/18/07
What a pleasant first surprise! The present tense approach made me feel as if I was rushing around with Mommy, trying to get everything done with her.
Nice job.
Dee Yoder 09/18/07
Really cute! I enjoyed this little bit of baby time again. It's been many years since I had this experience with my own baby, but your story sure brings the memories right back. Good job!