Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Surprised (09/06/07)

TITLE: Ready or Not, Here I Come
By Ann Renae Hair
09/08/07


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Ready or Not, Here I Come


“Gramma, what’s wrong, Gramma?”

The child’s soft, sweet voice drew her back to the present.

“Oh, Jessie, nothing’s wrong, really…just uncertain. Grandma’s feeling kind of sad this morning. I’ll be okay.”

“Sad, Gramma. Why sad?”

“Honey, you’re so young…but of course you need to know.”

“I give you a hug, Gramma?”

“Yes, yes. Come to me. Hug me and sit on Grandma’s lap.”

She took the child in her arms and gently held her close. A sudden surge of hope washed over her with her thought, “Children, precious children, the symbol of what is yet to come.”

“Thank you, Jessie. You are such a blessing to me.”

She cupped the child’s face in her hands and kissed her forehead, chin, each cheek and lastly her nose.

Jessie smiled, “Love you, Gramma.”

It’s a game Mary played with her grandchildren since they were born.

“Gramma, why do you cry?”

“Jessie, Grandma’s going to tell you now. You know how sad and confused we all are since the funeral. Honey, this morning, Uncle Jesus wasn’t in his special burial place. It was empty. He’s…gone.”

The tears in Mary’s eyes were met by a twinkle in the child’s eyes.

“Uncle’s not gone, Gramma. He’s back. He said he’d be back, Gramma. He told me. He said he’d play hide-and-seek one more time before going home. Can we go find him, Gramma, please? Let’s go, Gramma.”

“Jessie, I’m not sure it’s safe until we find out more about what’s going on. Let’s wait a little longer.”

“It’s okay, Gramma. Mack and Tommy will take me. We’ll be okay. We’ll find Uncle and he’ll give us bear hugs.”

“Okay, Jess, as soon as the boys get back…but you have to stay together.”

***

The door burst open. Mary dropped her stitching, snapped out of her pensive thoughts by the explosion of one small voice.

“Gramma, we found him. We found him, Gramma. I told you we would!”

Mary caught her breath as Jesus stepped in behind Jessie.

“My son, My Lord.” She fell into the arms of the one she once held in her own.

“Mother, are you surprised? I told you I’d be back,” he whispered in her ear.

“You’re alive, my precious son, my Lord. I love you.”



Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.
-John 21:25


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 628 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 09/13/07
This is delightful! What a creative idea. You did a great job with the dialog. Children ARE the ones who really "get it," aren't they?
Laury Hubrich 09/15/07
I was totally confused at first when you said "Uncle Jesus". Thought it was a typo and then the lightbulb clicked on. Very creative POV.
Laury
Jan Ackerson 09/15/07
Oh, this one is precious! I love it when people tell familiar stories from a fresh POV. This is definitely at the top of my list for this level.
Jennifer Johnson09/16/07
Nicely done! It helps us to make a closer connection with an ancient story (the greatest story ever told) through familiar loving feelings of a "Gramma" and an Uncle. Great spin!
Dee Yoder 09/17/07
I love the retelling of Bible stories in a modern voice, and this one is really good. Don't you just wish you could have seen that day for yourself? Thanks for giving us a glimpse! Wonderful.
Beth LaBuff 09/17/07
Beautiful rendition of familiar details. I think you've done an amazing job. I love the grandmother/granddaughter relationship you show. You've kept the true identity of your characters secret till half-way through your story. Well done!
Paul McVay09/18/07
Well done. We must all work to move from "childish" to "child-like!" Thanks.
Brenda Welc09/19/07
Very nicely written. I have to admitt I had to start the story over after the first "Uncle Jesus" because I was confused but then I hit myself in the head and realized where this was going. Great writing here, keep up the good work!
Jacquelyn Horne09/19/07
I thought it was "Uncle Jesus" in Spanish until the ending.
Betty Castleberry09/19/07
You definitely surprised me with this. This is charming, and fresh and a really nice read. Thanks for sharing.
Loren T. Lowery09/19/07
Indeed a new way to spread the "Good News". Very creative and well written. I especailly like the way you are able to use dialogue to make your characters come alive. Keep up the great work!
Pamela Kliewer09/19/07
Very creative. Well written. Good job!
Carol Shaffron09/19/07
Creative and fresh interesting viewpoint. Excellent!
Corinne Smelker09/20/07
CONGRATULATIONS!!!

I was one of the judges for this topic and I so badly wanted to comment, but couldn't until the results were published.

This was one of the most creative pieces I have ever seen in a retelling of a familiar story. Bravo - you certainly deserved your EC placing.
Joanne Sher 09/20/07
CongratuLATIONS, girlie! I loved hearing your reaction on the phone. This was really something special. Up to intermediate for you (after the break, of course!).
Kristen Hester09/20/07
SO creative! Great job, great writing, great dialogue. Congratulations!
Laury Hubrich 09/20/07
Congratulations on your 3rd place win!
Laury
Sheri Gordon09/20/07
Congratulations on your EC. This is really, really good. So creative. Wow.
Jenny Fitch09/20/07
I too thought "Uncle Jesus" was a typo at first. Great surprise! I enjoyed this telling very much.
Catrina Bradley 09/20/07
Very creative! I love the playful voice, almost like a fairy tale. The dialog is so real. Perfect title for this wonderful story. Congrats! and welcome to FW! :) Cat