The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 453 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
09/14/07
This was good, nice pace and suspense. I was wondering if maybe he thought he was the adopted one and then the parents surprised him with the sibling announcement, but the title kind of gave me the direction of where it was headed. Nice work.
09/15/07
Good job of showing the curiosity of a little boy and his quick acceptance of a baby brother.
Laury
09/16/07
Cute story--one that would be good to share with children.

Watch out for redundant phrases like "anxious, worried" and "unexpected surprise." If you tighten up your writing, you'll save unnecessary words and have more for plot and character devolopment.

I like the names you chose for your characters.