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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Bold (emotionally) (08/30/07)

TITLE: Wounds From A Friend
By Ann Renae Hair
09/02/07


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Wounds From A Friend

Wounds from a friend can be trusted... Proverbs 27:6a NIV

Susie was wrestling with mixed emotions. She knew she should confront her friend. But there was no guarantee Kate would appreciate hearing what needed to be said. Susie’s heart was tender for Kate ever since they first met at Bible Study. Kate shared in the small group that she was struggling with what to do about her husband’s choices for their family. Respectfully, no specific details were offered at that time. Susie and Kate were assigned to be prayer partners. Kate really needed a friend to confide in, since they were new in town, starting out without knowing anyone. She was comfortable with Susie, who had a warmth and strength about her that was inviting. Also, the Study leader mentioned that Susie’s family was also transferred a lot, the common thread that would spark a quick camaraderie.

Kate poured her heart out over the next few weeks. Susie was cautious, but sincere. The pain of her recent separation still lingered, even though a year had almost past. She recalled the day Tony had told her he was leaving. He said he knew a Christian man shouldn’t walk out on his family, but she had refused counseling long enough. He would not go on knowing she’d never be pleased with him. He would rather free her to think about their marriage. He could not be her Mr. Perfect. He was trying to provide for his family the best he knew for the time being. If that wasn’t enough for her, then he didn’t know what else. Her bitterness and anger allowed him to go. He never wanted anyone but her, so he quietly rented an apartment near the kid’s school and set out to be the best Dad he could, since he obviously couldn’t ever be the husband she wanted.

Susie had since picked up the study on I Corinthians, Chapter 13 that the Pastor’s Wife had given her as a gift before the last move. This past summer, she spent her quiet mornings alone working on her lessons before the kids woke up. That is where God met her in a very powerful way. Verse by verse she recognized the sin that drove her husband away. At first she wanted to justify her actions. After all, he knew that all she ever wanted was to settle into a cozy home-life and raise her kids in a safe place. But Tony’s job kept them on the move. Not to mention the overnight travel at the end of every month. She knew if he would just change jobs, they could find a place to stay and she would be happy. That’s what any good father would do. Every time she brought it up the last couple of months he just withdrew from conversation, until…

But now she admitted her sin; confessed it to God – and to Tony. She knew God forgave her repentant heart right away. It would take some time for Tony to see that the change in her was genuine. Then maybe they could start over in mutual love, based on God’s truth.

For now it seemed God had brought Kate into her life in His perfect timing. She recalled her own past experiences of “do gooders” trying to change her when she didn’t see the error of her ways, judging her when they didn’t even know her. She just didn’t want to come across that way to Kate, who had so quickly become a dear friend. She knew she needed to be bold and speak the truth. She loved Kate too much to not be honest. It was time for Kate to hear Susie’s whole story – and time to warn Kate about walking the same destructive path.

Susie prayed silently, “Dear Lord, give me courage to be a true friend. Help me be Your light in Kate’s life. Prepare her heart for Your truth. Prepare my words to give You glory. Amen.

She picked up the phone and dialed.

“Oh, hi, Kate. It’s Susie…Hey, I was hoping we could get together this afternoon. There’s something we really need to talk about…”

My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover a multitude of sins. James 5: 19-20 NIV


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Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 09/06/07
A very compelling read - good descriptions.

You might want to experiment a bit with dialog - instead of telling us what the people said, just have them say it. That definitely livens up a piece!

Liked the end a lot. Keep writing (I know you will LOL).
Jennifer Johnson09/06/07
God absolutely uses our deepest hurts for His greatest gain. It is in the painful things we have experienced that we can help others. Good reflection of this concept. The character is truly a great friend!
Josiah Kane09/07/07
Good explanation of the flashback. You have told this story well, but I am not sure how well it fits into the topic.
Amy Michelle Wiley 09/11/07
It was bold of the friend to share her story, and repent to do the right thing. I agree with Joanne that making this more story-like with dialog would make it even better, but good job.
Jan Ackerson 09/11/07
Great title, and scriptural tie-in.

This has the style of a narration, which to a slight degree lacks the heart of a more fiction-like telling. When you add details that appeal to senses--what are the people seeing, hearing, touching, etc. as the story unfolds?--then you're more likely to grab your readers' interest.

I enjoyed this story!
Sherrie Jackson09/11/07
Good job! You had a lot of info to convey but it was all well-written and mostly kept from being confusing throughout.

I wasn't sure at first if the background we were getting was Kate's or Susie's. I think just a small change would help, like this: "Susie was cautious, but sincere; the pain of her separation..." And that way we know for sure it's still about Susie.

You're doing great work! Good luck this week!
Dee Yoder 09/12/07
Your story appealed to me. I like the explanations and the good description of your main character. I'm glad you're continuing to write!
Loren T. Lowery09/12/07
There is a good message here. To help the reader, I would suggest breaking up some of the paragraphs and punctuate the meat of your article with dialogue. This would help the reader focus on the intent of the article and streamline the reading. Not as easy task with a 750 word limit, but it looks as if you have the talent to do it. Nice job.
Diane Bertrand09/17/07
Good story. I agree with the previous comments regarding dialogue. Your story has the potential to give someone the courage they need to help a friend. Thanks.