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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Bold (emotionally) (08/30/07)

TITLE: BARRY AND OLIVER
By JAMES MURIUKI
08/31/07


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Barry and Oliver were two twin stars. They used to rise earlier that any other star in the evening sky. They would twinkle and dance holding hands round and round to the delight of their older brothers who came way after they were almost exhausted.
One day as they danced and watched the children down on the earth also playing in the moonlight, Oliver asked his brother, “Barry, what do you think about those lovely kids down there? Do you care what they or their parents say about us here?” Barry turned to his brother and shrugged his shoulders, “Well” he said, “I have never thought about it anyway, after all Oliver, there are myriads of other stars up here and brighter ones for that matter. Do you think all those little eyes will skip the rest and notice tiny little things like you and me, no way? After all I don’t think our light makes any much difference up here. Don’t you think so?”
Oliver remained quiet for a while. He constantly gazed and admired the playing kids down below. They seemed to fascinate him at every passing moment. After a prolonged silence he sighed deeply and said without looking at his brother, “I wish I could give them more…a light. They look so lovely” “Come on” Barry joined in contemptuously, “Stop dreaming Oliver. Do you think they can even see you from there? Take it from me brother, you are so tiny and your little twinkle is of no significance. You cannot even be noticed”.
“Yah, you are right Barry”, Oliver said, “we are very tiny indeed, but I think they can see our little twinkle among all the others. Barry, that is more important to us than anything else, brother. Remember all the nights we’ve spend together playing and dancing up here. If with unflagging energy we both made a difference, what a joy we would instill in the hearts of those little kids. Well, as you say, they may never notice or recognize us here, but Barry, all we need to do is our best. Our purpose is more important than anything else. We should be bold and do better”.
Oliver paused and looked at his brother who by then was keenly listening. “Well”, he continued, “I don’t know whether this makes any sense but I feel that its my duty to serve irrespective of whether I’m recognized or not. I’m aware of the numerous insults down there, but service is our duty Barry, service!”
There was a long silence between the two. The only noise around was that of other stars, some singing, others shouting to each other, and a few dozing off though they had slept all day.
Barry and Oliver had their attention directed to the drama below.
Then all of a sudden, something unexpected happened that left them stunned. They looked at each other but couldn’t see clearly after the long gaze down below. They smiled and simultaneously turned again to look at the kids.
One of the little kids holding the shoulder of his comrade pointed at the twin stars and shouted to his friends, “Hey guys look at those lovely little stars up there. Aren’t they gorgeous? Why don’t we all sing a ballad to them? They are always there come moon or darkness. Come on boys and girls let’s sing!”
Then the youngsters joined hand in hand in a uniform circle singing and dancing to the two stars:
Twinkle, twinkle twin stars,
How lovely you make the sky up there!
Twinkle, twinkle twin stars,
How charming are your little eyes
Twinkle, twinkle twin stars
Though you know it not,
You are our heroes up there,
Twinkle, twinkle twin stars
Sing and dance along with us!
Twinkle, twinkle twin stars
The beautiful sparkle of your little eyes,
Uniforms the silver blanket of the night’s sky!
Twinkle, twinkle again twin stars!
Barry and Oliver could hardly resist the dance. They joined their hands as usual and danced too to the delight of the little kids below. Their enthusiasm and joy made them brighter than before, a habit they never left the rest of their lives”.


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Member Comments
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Joanne Sher 09/08/07
A very sweet little story. The song the kids sang was cute. I would recommend putting a space between your paragraphs for more readability.
Marita Vandertogt09/08/07
If you put in lots of space between your paragraphs,as well as your dialogue lines, it would be easier to read. Good flow of conversation between the two brother stars. You give the story an easy flow with your use of dialogue. I had a little trouble seeing where the bold theme fit in, but that could just be me. Keep sharing.
Kristen Hester09/10/07
This is a very cute story. Good job. It would be so much fun to see it with pictures of glittering stars.

Everytime you change speakers, start a new pararaph. In this format, it's best to skip lines between paragraphs. Indents don't work like in standard, school writing.

Good job! Keep writing.