The Official Writing Challenge
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Nice adventure! The descriptions were mostly easy to follow, which is usually the trickiest part to writing action.

When writing for these emotions, see if you can leave out their actual names; you didn't need to say "bold attack" for you transmitted that well enough in the story.

Good job this week!
09/07/07
Tough subject. Nicely done, though. Be careful of directly stating what you build in the scenery, though.
Wow! You had me on the edge of my seat. You've written every parent's worse nightmare. And wouldn't it be great if every kidnapping ended with the villain getting his face bashed in? Good job.
When you started with the goodnight tuck-in I thought uh oh same-o, same-o. What a nice surprise when the action-packed drama took off and got my adrenal glands working. Action sequencing is not that easy to write, so I feel you did a great job.