Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Fearful (08/23/07)
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TITLE: Sierra | Previous Challenge Entry
By Elaine McDonald
08/30/07 -
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Cancer! The hated dreaded word rang in my ears. It cannot be, not my beautiful little Sierra! She is only 3 1/2 years old! My eyes could see the doctors mouth moving but all I could hear was the word cancer bouncing around in my mind and the deafen scream NO, NO in my head. I looked over at my daughter-in-law and saw the look of disbelief and horror on her face. I collected myself and strained to comprehend the doctors words. I knew my daughter-in-law needed my strength now. I took a deep breathe and prayed for God to give me that strength.
We had many more horrifying truths to face. Sierra had retinoblastoma, a disease that affects children from birth to 3 yrs old. The mortality rate for this disease is very high. She had a large tumor in her right eye; it had destroyed the vision in that eye. Removal was the only option. We hardly had time to process this when we received more bad news. The doctors had discovered two tumors in her left eye. They would try to save the left eye but did not know if they could. If our Sierra did survive, she might be blind.
The day her eye was removed as we sat in the waiting room there was a deathly quite as we all tried to cope with the thought of Sierra loosing one of her beautiful brown eyes. After the surgery, my son walked his father and me to our car. As we reached the car my son broke down and wept, he said he did not know how he could endure this. I held my son and comforted him, feeling so helpless. I knew that the only way to endure this would be by the help of our God. I assured him that God would give us the strength and courage to endure. As I told my son this, I was praying for God to give me the strength to help my son.
The long road of doctor visits and surgeries began. Time after time, we had to watch as Sierra endured surgery after surgery, needle after needle. The most heart wrenching was the chemo. Sierra lost all of her long beautiful curly brown hair. She became very pale and was too week to run and play with her cousin five days younger than her.
Prayers went up all over the United States for Sierra. I prayed continually for Sierra but at this time, the fear of loosing her was crippling. I would wake up in the night, unable to return to sleep. I prayed and prayed but each time the fear would return. The fear followed me every moment of the day and night. I knew I should trust the Lord. I knew the Lord could heal her, but still I was swallowed up with my fear of losing my precious little Sierra.
Sierras platelets dropped dangerously low and was in the hospital. I felt completely helpless, no matter how much I willed it I could not heal Sierra. My fear could not, would not heal her. Realizing my fear was standing in the way, I dropped to my knees and surrendered my fear to God.
I prayed and thanked God for Sierra and the time that I had with her. While praying, in my heart and mind, I laid my precious Sierra at the feet of Jesus. I acknowledged that Sierra was a gift from God and it was God’s blessing whether I had her three and half years or a hundred years. I accepted God’s will for Sierra. As I stood up from my prayer, I no longer felt empty and cold, warmth filled me, and the fear was gone. Peace replaced the fear. I knew ever which direction God chose he would help me through it.
Praise God, Sierra did survive. God blessed and the doctors were able to save her left eye. The doctors said she was a miracle child because children with this disease do not live past 3 years old if it goes untreated; she was 3 1/2 years old. She is now 7 years old and cancer free. Praise God!
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