The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/31/07
I have to admit I wondered where you were going with this. Portions of it seemed a bit wordy. Nonetheless, an interesting tale. Nice touch at the end.
08/31/07

Well-written story. The magic aspect was very vividly described, and the fear was obvious. Did you have to include a moral at the end of the story, since the text clearly showed what it was?
08/31/07
This is very interesting. The imagery was good and I could see what was happening.

You may want to rethink some of your wording, but overall, a good job.
09/03/07
Not my type of read but you held my interest. Very well told tale. Good writing!
09/03/07
Hi; You did a good job of showing 'fear' in a very creative piece of work. I really was relieved with your ending as she seemingly had chosen evil over God. Worse still, that choice did overcome her pursuers. And the choice destoyed her. This is the reality of life...