The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/23/07
Your dialog is good. But I can't imagine a family being mad at someone who is dying. I do see your addition of comedy at the end, maybe if you included it throughout the entire story. Interesting idea.
08/24/07
There's some good humor here, once you hit the right note.

It's a bit disturbing for the first half or so, though--none of the characters seem to act like real people would in such a situation. Perhaps you need to clue your readers in to the fact that this is satire earlier, so we're not horrified by the doctor's and family's actions.

Once I'd figured out where you were going with this, I enjoyed the protagonist's discomfort and what I knew would happen at the end...lots of fun.
08/25/07
The humor in the beginning of the story seems inappropriate, so I was hoping it would come out like it did. I enjoyed it once it became clear, and found it to be an enjoyable story in the end.