Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Angry (08/02/07)
TITLE: The Legacy
By Jenny Fitch
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Every eye in the store seems to be on me. The overhead lights focus on me like a giant spotlight. Why is this happening? I close my eyes for a moment, trying to shut it all out. Taking a deep breath, I try to maintain control. My stomach is churning. I am embarrassed. Frustrated. Angry. I alternate between wanting to lash out and hide. So many things go through my mind in those few seconds. His anger isn’t just a behavior problem. I know that. But knowing doesn’t always influence my response. Hitting back, lecturing, taking away his possessions. I entertain each one, but nothing seems right.
Then, I hear it, the still small voice. It tells me to love and understand him. Help him come to repentance for his sin. Hitting me was unacceptable. Will my reaction to him be equally wrong?
I listen to the voice and make the decision to love him, to understand, to forgive. I get down to his level and look in his eyes. There is so much anger in them and I don’t even know why. I pray silently while asking him to explain. He tells me in his seven year old words that I have hurt him deeply. I am stunned…I didn’t know I’d offended him. I quickly apologize and let him know I don’t mean to hurt him. He immediately softens and not only accepts my apology, but offers one of his own. Now we can talk about his sin in a way he can hear with his heart. We are both able to seek forgiveness. Maybe he learns that words work better than hitting. I know I have learned something.
I think about how often I slap my Heavenly Father in the face. I don’t mean to…just like my son doesn’t mean to. My son has a medical condition which makes it difficult for him to control his impulses. Like my son, I have a condition too…mine is of the heart. I was born with it, just like my son. My Father in heaven knows my condition and He makes a way for me. He doesn’t hit or lecture me. He loves me and forgives me. He listens to my hurts and frustrations and He understands them. He brings me to repentance. I am forgiven. I can feel the tender arms of my Father wrap around me and know I am still loved. This relationship with my loving Father is what I want to show my son, the example I want to be for him.
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