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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Sad (07/26/07)

TITLE: Tennis Instead of Intimacy
By Sharon Henderson
07/30/07


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A stream of teardrops rippled down her face. Kalyn Rose could not describe the emotion flowing out of her at that moment. She was never one to cry, so why now? Was this disappointment, frustration, aggravation, or something else? How did she get to this point in her life? Had she really saved herself for marriage for a life like this?

She was just shy of being a mail-order bride. Oh sure, she had met her man long before the wedding but most of the courtship had been long-distance via mail. Since he had hardly ever been around her prior to the wedding, how could she expect him to be intimately attached to her? She had strong beliefs about monogamy and faithfulness. She also had expectations that went with those convictions. If you keep your spouse happy at home, no one needs to go outside the home. That is if your spouse really loves you.

The problem seemed to be that Morton had only one love in his life and it wasn’t her. It was tournament tennis. Early in their marriage she had saved money every where she could in order to be sure he had money to play tennis. She only had one request. She wanted him to think about her while he was away and to bring her home a small token to show that he did. Bring her something simple like a bracelet from the five and dime store. Nothing extravagant. He rarely did. However she still made sure there was money for tournament entry fees.

The early days were twenty years ago. He still plays tennis today and she still manages the money to be sure the they can afford it. She also still wishes that when he plays he’d think of her. Only now she doesn’t want the trinkets, she just wants his affection. She longs to be the one thing he desires more than tennis.

At long last though, she has faced reality. Kaylyn Rose knows. Knows that it never was love. Morton never did love her. She isn’t sure how to classify the past twenty years living with Morton. That uncertainty is the emotion that has turned on this faucet of tears. If that feeling only had a name…


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This article has been read 660 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 08/02/07
How sad!

This would make a good story, with dialogue between the husband and wife to help your readers get to know them better.

It has the ring of truth to it--I wonder if it's based on a real couple.
dub W08/03/07
Really well written voice of a hurting spouse. You might consider getting rid of the 2nd. person in your writing; if this is truly the cry then the "you" audience is of no consequence. Definately, an essay for consideration.
Angela M. Baker-Bridge 08/04/07
I could feel the pain and emphasize with the unloved wife. This story can be told by many woman, substituting various "mistresses" besides woman. Keep writing from your heart as you hone your skills. Blessings - Angel
Brenda Welc08/06/07
Felt the sadness all the way through this. Well written!
Cheri Hardaway 08/08/07
Well-written and truly sad. I also think that changing from the second-person to the first-person would cause your story to impact your readers even more deeply. And any time you can show something through dialog and interaction between your characters, rather than just tell it, it will make the read more compelling. Great effort, keep writing. You have talent. Blessings, Cheri
Darlene Casino 08/08/07
Hi; This was very good reading. I would have liked it a bit longer but, based on what I've already read, I'd probably still be looking for 'more'. Good job!
Caitlynn Lowe08/08/07
Very sad; however, well written.


   
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