The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/02/07
A creative POV...

I don't think you need the last paragraph, addressing the reader. Let your story speak for itself.

Thank you for this unique perspective.
08/04/07
The title of this caught my eye. What a unique perspective.

As the first comment mentioned, you don't need that last sentence. Your story speaks for itself.

I thought you did a great job capturing each character's feelings. Great job.
08/05/07
Beautiful descriptions in this piece. You captured the emotion of the scene.

I agree with the other comments about the ending.
08/06/07
I love how you made this story come alive. Good writing.
08/06/07
You painted a beautiful picture of words here. Thank you and may God continue to Bless You