Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Sad (07/26/07)
TITLE: RAY OF LIGHT
By Beth S. Biermann
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“Grandmom passed away this morning”, he uttered. As soon as the words reached my ear from my brother’s mouth, I started to sob. I had known this was coming, but that didn’t make it any easier to bear. I kept apologizing to him for not being able to pull myself together and he assured me I had nothing to be sorry for. I can’t even imagine how hard that phone call must have been for him to make.
The first of my four grandparents to leave me, she had added such a funny, goofy and light-hearted spirit to everyone around her. Her faith was strong and she prayed often. I was so grateful to have had so much time with her, including being blessed to have lived with her and my grandfather for an entire summer. I only wished she could have lived long enough for my daughter to get to know her better.
She believed, as I did, that she was now with God as well as her beloved father, Mamie and mother, Nana. I tried to find comfort in that belief, but was having a hard time letting it break through my intense grief.
As I drove to my childhood home to help my mother with the funeral arrangements, my baby slept peacefully in the backseat. The rare silence inside the car combined with my crushing sadness as I struggled to hold back the tears that were obscuring my view of the road. Suddenly, the gray clouds that had been blanketing the morning began to scatter. The sun broke through the clouds, creating a stream of tiny sunbeams reflecting off the mottled sky.
I really believed it was a sign from both God and my grandmother to remind me that the sun will always find a way through the clouds. My memories of her and the faith I inherited in part from her would serve as a ray of light through the sorrow of her passing.
My baby daughter is now seven years old, with a little four year old sister and I find myself telling them about my grandmother very often. Most recently, my older daughter was practicing piano and played a song that had a break in the music immediately before a strong, deep ending. I told her that my grandmother, who worked as a secretary in my school, would come to all of my band concerts. She always told me that her favorite parts were songs that made her think they were over before ending with a “bang”, as she would say. So I told my daughter that Grandmom would have loved that particular song that she played. My husband added that she always did love surprises.
So now, nearly six years later, I can think of many great anecdotes about my grandmother without feeling too much sadness. When I find myself missing her, my memories serve as a ray of light for me, soothing my sad heart and reinforcing my faith.
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