The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I really liked the message contained in this article.

There were a few issues with quotations. Remember that each full quote is enclosed in quotes, not each sentence. Also, remember to begin a new paragraph whenever someone new speaks.

Your characters were very real, and I could sense the sadness the mother was carrying. Keep writing!
The message is solid and really, the prose works well, very good description throughout; however, this is in need of an editor to clean up many miscues. Keep writing.
This put tears in my eyes. So often we push aside the terrible stories we see on the news not realizing the reality of the situation! Well done.
The image of a prayer being stuck in a tree is an excellent one, and your narrator's voice is compelling.

Yes, definitely give this the needed edits mentioned above.

Good descriptions of the fall weather we experience in Southern California.
This gave me goose bumps. Very chilling. Excellent descriptions and wording.
Oh, fine, fine writing Coleene! I can't wait to read the rest of your writing! I missed several weeks of reading and I realize I missed much!