The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/03/07
Wow! So dark and sad. The feelings revealed in this are very strong. Well put together.
08/04/07
Interesting rhyme scheme, and I appreciate your use of poetic elements such as imagery, internal rhyme, metaphor.

Some of your word choices may be a bit "off"--words that don't quite mean what you intend.

But altogether, this is an effective and very sad poem. Good job.
08/04/07
There's a lot of feeling in this one. In places I had to concentrate to follow what was happening, but there is some powerful imagery: "Once a butterfly sings, now Satan has pulled off my wings,
And, I crawl to my tomb, I once called… my room.”
08/05/07
I can feel the sadness here and it is touchingly written. Heartfelt and evocative.