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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Confident (07/05/07)

TITLE: The Flim Flam Fair
By Dee Yoder
07/07/07


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“Hey, Skeet, the carnival’s settin’ up over at the old Giant Tiger parking lot. Me, Tom, and Richard are gonna go after supper tonight. Wanna come?”

“I heard about it. My Daddy says I cain’t go on over there because it’s nothin’ but a Flim Flam Fair.”

“A what?”

“Flim Flam Fair. “

“What’s that?”

“He says they’s confidence men in them games. They’ll tell you lies same as look at you. Anything to get at your pocket.”

“ If you promise him you won’t be playin’ the games, maybe he’ll change his mind and let you go.”

“Maybe.”

“Go on. Ask him.”

I dug the toe of my Redball Jets in the dirt and waited. I was hopin’ his Daddy would give in and let him come along because Skeet’s got the funniest jokes of us boys. He’s a dad-burned ol’ ham.

The screen door squealed open and banged shut. Skeet come out on the porch.

“What’d he say?”

“He told me I better not be spendin’ my money at no place like that. But I promised I’d only go to the tents and rides and I won’t go anywheres near them stupid games. He said OK then but be home by 9:00.”

“Whoo-hoo! Let’s go!”

We run to Tom’s house and after we got him, we tore off to find Richard and then headed on over to the carnival.

The lights was strung up across the entrance, and the music from the merry-go-round was pumpin’ somethin’ fierce. It ‘bout made my head bust, that stinkin’ racket. We took off runnin’ toward the rides for bigger kids and piled on to the Scrambler first thing. Then we rode the Tilt-a-whirl and the Witch’s Wheel.

We must’a rode that thing fifty million times before Richard started sayin’ he might puke, so we looked for a tent to sit in until his stomach stopped heavin’. We wanted to find somethin’ free. We walked up and down that there midway, but all we saw was men callin’ out and tryin’ to sell us this-n-that. It was pitiful.

Skeet said he’d like to try knockin’ the milk jugs down with a baseball, but he was afraid somebody’d tell his Daddy, and hoo-boy, he’d be in for it. We finally wandered into a tent down at the end. It had some music comin’ out, but it weren’t no way as bad as that merry-go-round noise.

“Hello, boys. Y’all ready for a story?”

This man was standin’ there with a guitar strapped on over his shoulder. He pointed us to some seats, and we set down while he tuned up.

“Any of you boys know the story of Jesus?” he asked.

We had no idea who in the world he was talkin’ about. He smiled and started plunkin’ away on his guitar. He told a story about a man who come down from heaven so he could save people from the pits of hell. This Jesus had all the power in the world and coulda’ kept hisself from dyin’, but he didn’t. Then he rose up to heaven again. It was sad and happy all at once.

After the man was done singin’, Skeet looked at him and asked, “Are you a dad-burned confidence man?”

“Now, son, why would you ask me that?”

“’Well, my Daddy said they’s confidence men all over this here fair, and they tell some whoppin’ big stories to get at our money. I think you just told us the biggest tale ever was ‘cause they ain’t no man goin’ to let hisself get killed for somebody who ain’t no good to start with.”

“Boys, most folks won’t take punishment for someone else, but Jesus isn’t like that. He loves each of you so much, he gave his life so you could be saved. And it’s free for the asking. No charge.”

He give us some tiny books called “The New Testament.” He said them books had a whole mess of stories about Jesus in ‘em. We put ‘em in our pockets and took off to find the Giant Ferris Wheel.


Later in bed, I got to thinkin’ about that Jesus fella. I decided I’d give it a try, and if it was a flim flam, well, so what. It didn’t cost me nothin’ but a prayer. But I had a feelin’. Jesus wasn’t no confidence man. My heart was tellin’ me he was true blue. Tomorrow, I’d read that tiny little book to find out more.
WORD COUNT: 748


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This article has been read 1159 times
Member Comments
Member Date
dub W07/12/07
Double Wow. The dialect and pace was so great kept me into the story word by word. I see this one as a special puppy for sure.
Verna Cole Mitchell 07/12/07
This is a wonderful story--looks like a winner.
Seema Bagai 07/12/07
Wonderful story. Great characters and voice.
Cherie Millsap07/13/07
I too say "WOW"! That was excellent! I loved the use of language here! Took me back to my childhood too! Totally relatable! Great Work!
Beth LaBuff 07/13/07
What a clever, unique story!!! You did an amazing job telling it!

At first I was afraid the boys would do what the dad warned them not to do. But then you shifted to a preacher and we wanted the boys to listen to him. VERY skillful! I loved it.

I remember Redball Jets!! I think I had some. :)
Ed VanDeMark07/14/07
From your title to word # 748 this is outstanding. You created real characters, a real situation, period language and maintained them from start to finish. For me however the the best part is that you didn't fall into the temptation to create a magic ending. Salvation for most of us is a process. You gave us the first step in that process. A creative use of the theme as well. This tale is a winner, and that aint' flim flam.
william price07/14/07
Very, very good job! I liked the story and you told it well. Nice dialogue between the kids and you captured the time spot on. Creative way to share the gospel as well. Hope this one does well. God bless.
Brenda Welc07/14/07
Easily read story, great content, well written, blessed in its' message, good reading, wonderfully done and blessed by the One who gave you the inspiration.
Kristen Hester 07/15/07
This is great. I enjoyed it from beginning to end. The descriptions of the boys were vivid. I think the tie into the theme was super. Very Nice!
Kristen Hester 07/15/07
This is great. I enjoyed it from beginning to end. The descriptions of the boys were vivid. I think the tie into the theme was super. Very Nice!
Kristen Hester 07/15/07
This is great. I enjoyed it from beginning to end. The descriptions of the boys were vivid. I think the tie into the theme was super. Very Nice!
Loren T. Lowery 07/17/07
This is wonderful all the way from the story line to the dialect. Surely this will place, it simply holds too much heart and truth.
Sharlyn Guthrie 07/17/07
Fabulous story! Excellent writing! I'd read a whole series of books about Skeet and the boys.
Joanne Sher 07/17/07
Absolutely excellent - the dialogue, sense of place, action, were all wonderful. You'll be moving up soon, my friend!
Benjamin Graber07/17/07
I love how you were able to capture the "voice" of the boys. Great job.
Elizabeth Burton07/17/07
This is absolutely wonderful! As someone who's written in an Appalachian dialect before, I know how hard it can be to do it without having it come off as heavy-handed; it flows amazingly well in this story. Great job! The only question I had (and it's truly a question because I have no idea what the answer is!) was about the time period. I got the impression it was taking place in the late 1930s or early 40s, but then I saw the fair rides and thought one of them was a more recent invention...so when WAS it supposed to take place? And when was that Tumbler invented (my favorite fair ride, btw)?
Elizabeth Burton07/17/07
Oops...I meant the Scrambler (it's still my favorite even though I always forget the name, lol)!
Patty Wysong07/17/07
Wonderful! A fun read with a great message--you can't beat that. The voice and dialect were wonderful!
Lynda Schultz 07/17/07
Great story. The "voices" are terrific.
TJ Nickel07/17/07
This is so well done. Very professional. I was afraid you'd lose the tone in the end because of the motion, and was thrilled when you kept it together. Entry is 'true-blue.'
Linda Watson Owen07/17/07
I agree! Wonderful job! I too was concerned at first that it would be too hard for you to carry the dialect and tone through believably and consistently and also keep a good flow. You pulled it off though in such a delightful way! Loved it!
Joy Faire Stewart07/18/07
You made the characters come to life in the story. It was fun to read and excellent message. This is one of my favorite entries this week and hope it places.
Verna Cole Mitchell 07/19/07
Hurrah! Now you move up!
Sharlyn Guthrie 07/19/07
Way to go, Dee! 3rd place EC. I'm so happy for you.
Kristen Hester 07/19/07
CONGRATULATIONS, DEE! I am so happy for you. I knew your time was coming!
Lisa Holloway07/19/07
Congratulations on your win! This is a very good story. The language you use really helps me to see it.
Trevas Walker07/19/07
I loved your story, and congratz on the win.
Sharon Henderson 07/19/07
Great story. Very enjoyable. I too would read more about the adventures of these boys on their journey of faith.
Janice Cartwright 07/19/07
Dee this is absolutely superb! Huge congrats on your win. I'm so-o-o-o happy for you! The Lord truly guided your pen with this wonderful story!
Sara Harricharan 07/19/07
***Congrats Dee!*** This is great, glad I didn't miss it. ^_^
Sheri Gordon07/19/07
Congratulations on your EC. I love this take on the topic -- and a fun read, too. Your POV was endearing. Good job.
Loren T. Lowery 07/19/07
I knew you could do it! There's just too much talent to hide for too long. Keep up your wonderful work, it is a joy to read and see you progress. God's continued grace - Loren
Elizabeth Baize 07/19/07
Wow! You had such a fresh and captivating take on the topic. Confidence men! That's hilarious. Congratulations on your win and EC placement.
Blessings,
Elizabeth
Debbie Roome 07/19/07
Congratulations Dee. This story is a real gem. I loved everything about it.
Mo 07/19/07
Great ending! Congrats on your 3rd place EC & 1st place Beginner's wins!
Dorena Morrello07/20/07
A beautiful and well written story. Very Touching. Thank you.
Rita Garcia07/21/07
Congratulations, your writing gift shines bright through the characters and dialogue...great story!
Debbie Lassiter07/24/07
Congratulations! Delightful and easy to read.
Donald Paulson07/25/07
Good job! And congratulations! Too bad more Christians don't get involved in activities that seem apporpriate for the world only - like a fair booth. God bless and keep writing.
David Butler 08/03/07
Ah jes' lerrrved the voice! Found myself drawlin' mah way through the whole story.
It sold me. Won't be long before we start calling you "Master Yoder."
Jacquelyn Horne08/08/07
Hey! I don't know how I missed this. Good job and Congrats! Liked the lingo.


   
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