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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write something in the YOUNG ADULT or TEEN genre (06/07/07)

TITLE: Pass It On
By Joann McDonald
06/10/07


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Not many kids hung out there but it was a good place to chill for a while. Samuel put his backpack down and picked up the soft drink that he had just ordered. As he glanced around he saw a couple of teen-agers in the corner goofing off. Noticing a young woman sitting across from them he couldn’t help but think that she seemed just a little uncomfortable. He decided to keep an eye on that situation.

Turning his attention to the matter at hand as the waitress brought his burger and fries Samuel grabbed the bottle of ketchup. This was going to be great. He had missed breakfast and was starving. It had been a long day already leaving home at 5:30 a.m. to catch the bus for a 5-hour trip to his grandparents.

This was going to be an awesome visit with his grandparents. They lived on a farm and he loved to visit. His memories of last summer were still vivid and often played over in his mind. He wasn’t the same kid today that had shown up on their doorstep last May. His mom had made him go and he had fought it with everything he had. After a few days with gramps though he changed his mind. Gramps just had a way with people. He saw things one way and pretty much insisted there wasn’t another option. Samuel needed another way at that point in his life. The path that he was on was leading him nowhere. He could see now how troubled he had been. He and his friends were always looking for trouble.

Gramps had introduced Samuel to Jesus that summer and finally life made sense. When his father left he and his mother five years earlier they had both kind of given up on life. He remembered his grandfathers’ last words to him as he was leaving.

“Son, even a strong man like yourself needs a savior. Don’t forget who that is.” He promised that he would never forget that.

About to take the last bite of that delicious burger something caught his eye from over in the corner. It was those boys; one had moved to a chair at the young women’s table and the others were making fun from where they sat. Shaking his head he put the last bite down on the plate. He could see her terrified expression as he made his way to her table.

“Is everything alright here?” Samuel asked the women? Her light brown hair and blue eyes kind of reminded him of his mother.

She looked up at him and seemed a bit confused. The boy still looking into her face answered for her. “Everything is just fine here kid. Why don’t you get lost?”

“Excuse me but I was directing my question to this young women.”

Turning his gaze to her once more he asked again, “Is everything alright here, ma’am?”

“No everything is not alright,” she blurted and rose up out of her chair. “Jason here has my billfold and is trying to take my money.”

Samuel moved in front of her and gently pushed her out of harms way.

“Hand over the billfold man.” He held out his hand and motioned for him to hand it to him.

“Why would I do that dude? You are like nobody and I don’t have to do anything you say.” Jason replied as he stood up and faced Samuel.

“Yeah, you’re right. You don’t have to do what I say but it’s the right thing to do man. You know it is.” He held his hand out again, “give the billfold to me and we’ll just forget this whole thing Jason.”

There was a long hesitation but he reached under his t-shirt and took the billfold from his waist and laid it in his hand. Samuel turned to the women and gave it to her. She didn’t waste a minute gathering up her things and leaving the café.

“Thanks, you did the right thing.” Pulling out another chair from under the table Samuel asked, “How about we sit for a minute.”

“I don’t have anything to talk to you about dude. You are still a nobody in my book. You think you are something but you ain’t nothing!”

“I may be nothing but I do know someone who is everything.” Before he began he paused and just had to smile at himself. “You see Jason, even a strong man like yourself needs a savior.”


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This article has been read 418 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Dee Yoder 06/17/07
Good story and I like hearing it from the male point of view. Teens could learn from this one!
Melissa Albrecht06/20/07
Ooohh I really enjoyed reading this...well done :D I really liked the ending...I didn't expect that!!
Joanne Sher 06/20/07
Great message! What an admirable young man.
Jan Ackerson 06/20/07
Good story, and you took an approach that no one else did this week. Well done!

A few spelling and punctuation errors--this just needs a quick "buff and polish."

Refreshing to read from a boy's POV, and with realistic dialog.
Verna Cole Mitchell 06/20/07
I liked your story very much--thought the title was a good fit.
Brenda Welc06/20/07
I like the part about every man needs a saviour. Thanks for sharing this part of the spirit with us readers. Well done. There are a few grammar issues but the storyline made me overlook them:) Share this with other men in your position!
Sara Harricharan 06/20/07
Nice title! I like how you tie it in with the ending. Very nice. I liked this fresh look on a Teen story, very creative. Good job.
Marilyn Schnepp 06/23/07
Great story - and I believe teens would "dig" it the most. Just a few comma's here and there - minor little things...and you're on your way! Really impressive!