The Official Writing Challenge
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06/14/07
Wow. It was a very unexpected ending and it gave me the goose bumps.
Very good story!
This was very powerful - what a testament to bring Jesus' word to even your closest friends, before it's too late. Well written and compelling.
This was excellent, I've got chills! Great Job!
06/15/07
This is good. It packs a powerful message, not just to teens, but to all of us to care enough for our friends to speak the truth to them before it's too late.
06/16/07
What a beautiful story....at least the true meaning to it. I enjoyed the surprise ending, feeling of course with my Christian heart for Harry who in a drunk stuper, apparently, had slipped into eternity with out Jesus. How very sad. We must be ready to go with Him all the time, every minute of every day. Thank you for sharing this very dynamatic story.

Awand
PS. I noticed one mispelled word. Should be IMMINENT. I thought you may want to correct it.
06/18/07
Nicely done - good action and kept my attention throughout. FYI - Camero s/b Camaro. Good message here as well - Bravo!
06/18/07
It's a thought-provoking cautionary tale, that's for sure...

...but it leaves me wondering. If Mark is a Christian, being taken "home" by an angel, I always thought there'd be no sorrow in heaven. And if he's being taken to a different "home," why is he concerned about Harry's salvation?

Maybe something to clarify?

This would be a GREAT conversation starter in a youth group.
06/18/07
Great story and twist. Very thought-provoking!
06/19/07
Very powerful - and I loved the twist. Great conversation starter for sure!
I really enjoyed reading this. It's something that we all need to be aware of. And yes...I got chills from it too. Well done!!
Wow! Very thought provoking. I really liked it and stayed on the edge of my seat to the very end.
06/20/07
Reality sure set in on this one. Nicely done. Broke my heart.
06/21/07
I like the suspense and excitement in your writing. You could make it better by not telling the reader what is obvious, for example in "the man said, extending his hand to Mark in the form of a greeting," you could leave out everything after "hand", and in "He then quickly spun around to face the person that had called his name." you could stop at "around". The rest the reader will assume. I do have to agree with Jan in wondering how this fits Scripturally. But good job on the characters and dialog. And a great lesson for teens about witnessing to friends. :)
06/21/07
Wow! What a story! It gave me chills...
Congratulations! Very creative piece. It held my attention to the end. Well deserved win,Kevin. I knew you wouldn't hang around in the beginners for very long.
06/21/07
Congrads on your win, Kevin! This was really well written and I loved the twist in the end. Well done! Y.
Great story I loved it! Thank You
Congratulations.

In addressing the 'no sorrow' concern or the 'which home' is he going to concern, I have no problem with either. This is a fiction piece. It would be like a vision or dream...things happen in dreams that we don't think can happen in reality. So even though my understanding of scripture would make this story not possible (He would have been immediately with Jesus) I think the 'reality' of the 'fiction' drives home the point that we need to share Christ with our friends while we still can.
COGRATULATIONS OF BEING NUMBER ON PICK! I LOVE YOUR STORY! GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP IT UP..
06/23/07
Wow! Absolutely fantastic! Can't believe this entry came from a Beginner?! Great Job! Creative, brilliant and tears burst from my eyes at the end! That, my friend, is a sign of a Masterful Writer...to bring out the emotion from the reader. (See USA/on Msg.Boards from another Bama neighbor) Proud of you!
06/25/07
Congrats.Beautiful piece.It packs a powerful message.Keep writing for God's glory.I was really blessed with this article.
Congrats on the win. This is a very powerful article.