The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/07/07
Your story captures well a real-life situation with insight into both characters. Unfortunately many people stay away from the topic of loss through death when it should be talked about more openly. Good writing.
Wonderful, encouraging writing. A lot packed into a few words.
06/11/07
A touching article that shows how intuitive children are and how we can learn from them.

I wouldn't consider it for children though, but for adults. Children's articles need to be written from the child's point of view, at least to be most published, according to my children's writing course. It would be great to read a story about Tilly's point of view of missing her Dad and watching her mom.
06/13/07
I loved this story! I could just hear Tilly--who is the kind of four-year-old I remember being, exasperating my grandma with my endless questions. Wonderful dialogue and realistic portrayal of a child's vivid imagination and fresh outlook on life, as well as of a parent's typical reaction.

In paragraph 8, the word "replicate" should be "replica." Also, this story does seem like one better suited for adults, since it's written from the mom's point of view. A delightful devotional story for parents!

Great title, too--I liked the alliteration and the use of a personal name, which sparked my curiosity.