The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 541 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
I don't think we ever outgrow our need to be loved just for ourselves alone rather than our accomplishments. Your story was simple and sweet, but the message it carries is profound and eternal.
Good child's story. A good lesson here.
06/09/07
the simplicity of this sweet story is its charm. I love it, and its basic message. Nice work
06/12/07
I love this story, too. It's very descriptive and easy to read and I think the message would appeal to children.
06/13/07
This is a very good child story with a very good message.
06/13/07
No wonder your grandson loved this - great, simple story with a wonderful message.
06/13/07
Precious story, one to keep in the family archives forever.

There were some punctuation issues, mostly missing commas and a few others. A quick edit would take care of that problem.

Your grandson sounds like such an adorable little fellow!
Very nice story. Nonie and her grandson have a very special relationshp. Your writing illustrates this well.
Your story has the seal of approval of children and adults! Be sure to keep this for Joseph to read to his own children in years to come. I love the beautiful relationship portrayed between grandmother and grandson, and your lesson is great.
I like this. :)
06/13/07
I totally understand why your grandson wanted to hear this one again, and again! It's great!
06/14/07
I love the character of Nonie. Very realistic and understanding. My only note is the sentence of

“Joseph you are such a big boy.” Nonie called as her grandson circled around the driveway.

“I am so proud of how you are riding that bicycle!”


That should be just one paragraph. Not two. If it's someone else speaking, then split it, if not, one sentence is fine as long as it doesn't run on for too long.

This was interesting and fun to read. Good job. ^_^