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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write something suitable for CHILDREN (05/31/07)

TITLE: Little Rain
By Renee McKee
06/05/07


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Little Rain

Today we are going to have a new baby. Are we ready to go to the hospital ask the Grandmother. Oh! Yes, said Grandpa. But what about Big Te is he ready to go. “I don’t know,” said dad, I will go check on him said Grandmother. As walking up the stairs she heard Big Te, talking. She stopped to listen. Big Te was saying, “What is the big deal about going to the hospital,” “No, one got that excited about me coming home.” I just understand. I will have to share that baby with my mommy and daddy. Why do I have to go. I want to be the only one.” I want to be the one they call baby and love on. I wont get that anymore. Baby’s they just stink.” Grandmother then walked in the door, and gave Te a hug. He cried and said, “Grandmother will I always be your baby.” Yes, she replied.
Te wanted to know why every one so excited about the baby. Grandmother said, see Te mommy and daddy wanted to have a sister for you so you would not be alone. And that is why we have to go to the hospital to see your mommy and new sister.” Grandmother, Te said, “ Where you excited when I was born.” Grandmother shook her head with Joy and said Oh, yes Big Te.” See, Te, you where the every first grandchild to be born, and that was a wonderful day and it still is a wonderful day. Now we get to share that day all over again with your sister.” Te looked at Grandpa and said are you excited to share me with sister. Grandpa said,” Yes, Te I a happy that you will get to have a sister to play with when she gets older.” I was not that lucky to have any one to play with. I was the only child. Te, looked at his grandpa sad and started to cry. Grandpa, said, “ Now, Now grandson it will be okay.” Why are you crying?” Because you did not have a sister to play with. Grandpa took Big Te and put him on his lap and said, “It is okay that I did not have a sister or brother because I had lots of friends.” Te, dried his eyes and got down form his Grandpa’s lap and said, “ I want to go see my sister now.” I want to tell her about all the fun we are going to have with our Grandpa, and Grandmother. I want to go to the hospital now.
They left to go see baby sister and mommy. Te wanted mommy to know how happy he was to see his baby sister. When they got there to the hospital Te said, Hey! I don’t know her name. Grandmother and Grandpa said, “At the same time said we don’t either.” That made them want to hurry up even more to go see the new baby. When they got to the room. Te’s mom was glad to see them. She looked at Te and said, “Te, meet your little sister Little Rain. And that was her name Little Rain. Te, liked the name. He never once asked why they named her Little Rain, he was just happy to see her and his mommy.


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This article has been read 403 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Allison Egley 06/09/07
I loved the concept of this story. A new baby can be tough for a child.

There were some grammar issues. Remember to start a new paragraph whenever someone new is speaking. Maybe having someone edit your entries for grammar could help.

Again, this is a great idea, and deals with a very real issue for kids.
Myrna Noyes06/10/07
Nice story to read to children who will soon have a little sibling. It will help them understand that they are still loved and special, too.

I would suggest that you space between your speakers and paragraphs for easier reading. Also, proofreading will help take care of some punctuation problems.

Keep writing! :)
Jacquelyn Horne06/11/07
A story that needs to be shared. Many children go through this I'm sure.
Dee Yoder 06/12/07
Your story deals with an issue most children face and need to learn about!
Keep practicing your writing and play around with your typing until it reads easier to you! As a new writer myself, I have to do the same thing, and I'm learning that a good story can be made even better with good form! (Reading the stories in the other levels gave me examples of how to space my own articles.):)