The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
Cute story. Easy to follow.
06/02/07
What a creative idea! I love that your protagonist is atypical for an adventure.

Take a look at the number of sentences that begin with a proper noun (either "Flower" or "Precious"). Try to vary your sentence structure more by choosing lots of different types of beginnings.

Good job in establishing the setting and in developing a character.
I really liked your description of Flower. I can picture her clearly in my mind. Very well written.