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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write in the POETRY genre (05/17/07)

TITLE: Ducks In A Row
By Janice Fitzpatrick
05/23/07


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They waddled all over
grassy pastures and field
white feathered noisemakers
who just would not yield

Too long they had wandered
chasing dreams from afar
with hindsight so close by
and one gleaming star

Great bills hissed quite rudely
the creatures collided
they could have adapted
had they abided

The course of the journey
seemed now out of sight
as one grew to twenty
then fifty by night

Their intent was to reach
high Accomplish Road
but with no space in time
these tasks were a load

Had each strident bird swayed,
traveled and departed
duties postponed may have
finished once started

So with courage and prayer
the lass rounded each one
her ducks now in a row
she soon could be done

With much praise on her lips
to the heavens she looked
had she not assembled
her goose would be cooked

With her own bird intact
not sautéed in regret
or hung out to smoke dry
she wouldn’t forget

A new sunrise bathed her
as she finished each task
her heart now filled with hope
like oil in a cask

The heaviness left her
just as fast as it came
no longer the burdens
bitter guilt and shame

Those plump feathered pullets
of business unfinished
had caused such a dither
joy had diminished

A new song burst within
as she cooked up a plan
she would hand them over
to the Son of Man

With His help to direct
He would make her complete
every duck in a row
now lay at His feet…..


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This article has been read 660 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Donna Emery05/25/07
I love this imagery! This works on both a literal and an allegorical level. Very nice!
Laisa Jones05/25/07
The title got me and I like the word pictures.
Cassie Memmer05/25/07
Very nice! Being simple minded, I had to read it a couple of times to get the full gist of it. (Not everyone is as slow as me!) Once I did, I had to read it again, so I could fully enjoy it. This is very clever and creative with great insight! Meter and rhythm are good, only one stanza bothered me a bit, but hey, what do I know about poetry! :) This is a very good piece! And once I understood it I really liked it!
Rhonda Clark 05/27/07
Imagery was nice. I like this one.
dub W05/28/07
Loved the images. A litle rhythm work and you have a winner.
Lynda Lee Schab 05/30/07
A clip here and there, but who cares? I loved this. Very cute imagery throughout that packed a small punch at the end. Nice job!


   
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