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Last Sunday afternoon I was talking with Mum in the kitchen,
Talking about my disappointment in God appearing not to listen.
He knows how much I desire to be married, to have my own wife,
This has been for me, one of the greatest desires of my life.
When I was as young as seventeen I was desperate for my girl,
Each year the desire grows - but the hopes continued to swirl.
To be married by twenty-four was my life long goal and dream,
The years came and went without mercy, and I wanted to scream.
God - where are You? Why do the girls I like always reject me?
Now I'm almost twenty-eight. There's no ring on my hand to see.
So last Sunday I stood in the kitchen doorway and raised my hand,
I looked up to heaven & knocked on the doorframe to make my demand.
"God where are You? Why do You ignore me in this? Don't You care?
This singleness and continued rejection is more than I can bear."
In my mind I could see a clear vision. The years keep flying by,
And I'm in my forties in a jiffy, but regardless of how I try,
I'm still single. So I say to God, "I need a middle part to my life."
I don't want to just keep getting older with no wife,
Stuck for ever at home with my parents, always feeling forgotten,
Never to get married or have children, man it makes me feel rotten!
Then on Tuesday Jesus took the scriptures and my heart awoke.
His words to my heart made my doubts disappear like smoke,
He spoke to me from Mark 4. The disciples and Jesus were in a boat,
And such a big storm blew up, they knew they could not stay afloat.
But Jesus was just lying there, not doing anything. He was asleep!
Now that sounds familiar! I often look up at Him, and want to weep,
"Why do You just sit there? Why don't You act?" I say with a frown.
Which is what the disciples said! "Teacher, don't You care if we drown?"
And His answer to them - and to me, was so powerful and convicting.
He rebuked the wind and the waves, and they were quiet and sleeping.
And He said, "Why are you afraid & still have no faith? I am near!"
Man that speaks to me. I do not have to be afraid, I don't need to fear.
He's faithful, all-powerful and able. I need to trust Him in this strife.
There is no need to be afraid that He'll not provide my wife.
No need to yell to Him over the storm, "Why don't you act? Don't you care?"
Just to look to Him. He is the Great I AM, of that I am fully aware.
And then I remember how I was when both times I tried to get employment.
I was not even slightly fussy. Not caring about the job giving enjoyment.
I just wanted a job - any job, and I'd say, "That job'll do Lord."
I wanted work desperately, I just wanted to get my life moored.
But Jesus closed the door to every job, at least, so it seemed.
He wanted to get me a job that would bless me beyond what I dreamed!
I had to wait two to three months, and I wondered why and why.
But when that time was up, He gave me a wonderful job, and I could cry.
I was happy with any old job - but He knew better. So I must wait.
It will probably be the same with finding a wife. I'm longing for that date!
I say, "I'm not too fussy. She's nice - I'd be happy with her."
But He says, "No Peter, I have someone more suitable, so you must defer."
My job is so unique and special, but at first there were reservations.
Maybe with my girl, we'll both be unsure at first, with some apprehensions.
But once we start getting to know each other, and form a close team,
We'll see that in each other, the Lord's blessed us both beyond our dreams.
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