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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write in the SCIENCE FICTION genre (05/10/07)

TITLE: Once Up On Pluto
By Brenda Welc


"Don't let him in!"

"We do not know what he is"

"Where did it come from?"

"Why is he here?"

"Lock your doors!"

"Shhhhhhhhhhh......don't make a noise. He’ll go away."

These were the random thoughts flowing through the minds of the filtras in Wacko, Pluto. A stranger had happened to visit their planet recently. No one knew of him or his origin. He looked different. He acted different. He sounded different. Nothing about him was usual to the people of Wacko, every door was closed upon him, no one would let him enter in. Children were hidden in small spaces within the homes and their antennas were shut down so they could not be located. Parents sat in fear of what this unknown creature was doing.

This stranger appeared from nowhere, seeming to come from above Wacko on a huge billowing cloud. He seemed quiet not wanting to make war with anyone and his spirit was one of peacefulness, not a trait of Wacko residents. The filtras who lived in the village of Wacko were not nice to anyone. Being mean was a characteristic which was honorable amongst the filtrakind. They had contests every weekend to see who could pull the meanest trick on their neighbors. Their time was consumed with nasty thoughts and how to get back at those who had done wrong to them. No "Good Mornings" or "Good Nights" were exchanged amongst the filtras. Children went to sleep with visions of monsters and dark creatures in their heads. Filtras drank pickle juice for breakfast and sugar that randomly grew in the fields was burned before anyone could get their four purple fingers on it.

Overall the filtras of Wacko had no purpose for their lives. Essentially they had nothing at all to live for. They worshiped themselves so there was no need to interact nicely. Children were home schooled in angerfestation and other nonsense cruelty. Wacko was not a place you read about in fairy tale stories and certainly not a place anyone would choose as a vacation destination. When this creature came to visit the planet of Pluto he brought with him an air of needed change. The filtras could sense they needed him but because of all the anger and hostility in the air they could not accept him. Their ignorance prevented this.

Finally as this creature from the billowing clouds knocked on the last door in Wacko, a small child answered the door.

"What do you want!?" said the small one in a not so kind, yelling voice.

"I want you to let me into your heart,” said the creature softly.

"Why!? What’s a heart?" demanded the child.

"I have come to take you home with me," said the creature with reassurance.

"But I am home. I am safe here. My parents treat me as mean as the neighbors, this is where I belong," said the child with perfect confidence.

"If you follow me, I will show you great riches and love beyond your wildest imagination."

"MOM! The creature wants us to follow him. What do we do?" yelled the small child.

"Just a minute! Let me finish cutting the break line on our neighbor’s car for tomorrow," the mother snapped.

As the child waited for her mother, she noticed how the man in front of her looked. He was dressed in long, flowing white robes and on his head were dark strands. His face showed kindness which was a strange look to this child, an expression that was hard to describe. The child felt a warmth she could not easily explain but somehow she wanted it. Soon just the presence of this creature was beginning to get through to the child and she asked in a voice not quite her own.

“How do I accept you into my “heart”? Is it safe? Will it hurt?”

The creature smiled gracefully and said, “Just bow your head, fold your hands and repeat these words; Jesus I accept you into my heart today and I want to be with you forever.”

Timidly the child did as she was instructed. Immediately she felt different. She felt like she wanted to make the same expression the creature had made on her face. When her mother finally appeared at the door she could see a difference in her child but was not scared. Wanting this Jesus spirit about her, she invited him in.

The rest is His Story!

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This article has been read 704 times
Member Comments
Member Date
dub W05/17/07
Well written, a great moral added to the prose. I liked this.
Myrna Noyes05/22/07
Wow! I wouldn't want to live on this planet! Too dangerous! :) This was a fun piece with a good message! I think it would make a great children's story with pictures of the creatures with antennas and four purple hands! :)
Pam Carlson-Hetland05/23/07
This definitely was a fun read. Lots of good description. And the message did come through, loud and clear...and I don't even have antennas. This could easily be developed into a children's story. Good job.
Joanne Sher 05/23/07
Cute and clever. Enjoyed this!
Betty Castleberry05/23/07
I have to echo what others have said about this making a great childrens' story. It has a powerful lesson, but at the same time, I think the subtle humor would appeal to kids.
Just a couple of minor punctuation issues, but overall, this was very good.
Patty Wysong05/23/07
wow! Am I ever glad I'm not from Pluto!! I could see the story book pages flipping as I read this, especially the 4 purple fingers. Good job!
william price05/23/07
Excuse while I repent for envy. Very nice job. God bless.