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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write in the SCIENCE FICTION genre (05/10/07)

TITLE: Evil Stalkers
By LaNaye Perkins


Evil green eyes were the last thing Evan saw before slipping into darkness and a horror no nightmare could imagine. It seems death was not final after all. If only he had chosen a different path.

There was something strange going on at the dumpsite on Sahaja Minor. That morning Constable Jolonar Casey had found Evan’s mutilated and partially eaten body. This was the first human; the others had been animals which he had carefully wrapped and hidden in the morgue.

Bending down, he quickly wrapped up what was left of Evan and headed for his hover craft, carefully avoiding any glimpse at the terror that was clearly etched on Evan’s lifeless face. As he closed the storage compartment he felt a chill go up his spine. Someone, or something, was watching him.

Hidden behind the thick undergrowth of this tropical moon, a pair of green glowing eyes watched. The beast’s breathing was raspy and the smell of blood surrounded it. It growled in rage as it had prepared to claim another victim, only to watch him escape.

Druin Hawthorn was sitting at his desk enjoying a cup of coffee and talking with his assistant Martouf Lunarcloud. Druin was the Crime Scene Specialist of the small outpost. He’d always been curious by nature, so this was the perfect job for him. Martouf was a full blooded Sahaja Minorian who had grown up in these parts and would soon get his license as a CSS. Both were intelligent and very good at their job.

Druin heard the familiar beep of his scanner and looked down at its screen to read the text from Jolonar. Turning to Martouf he motioned for him to gather the gear and follow him. As the men rode in their pod transfer to the morgue, Druin told Martouf about the bodies that Jolonar had discovered. Martouf felt a knot growing in the pit of his stomach. He had heard stories from his ancestors about such things.

When they arrived, Jolonar was already preparing the bodies. While examining each of them, he told the two about all the events of the past few days. When Martouf got a good look at the victims his fears were confirmed. Stopping Jolonar in mid sentence, Martouf said. “Long ago, whenever evil started to abound, it was said that demon creatures would appear. The creatures would hunt down and consume those who were in sin. Our elders say the only escape from death was to turn away from sin and back to our Heavenly Father. Until now I believed it was only stories.” Pausing for a long moment Martouf continued: “There is no denying Evan’s life was full of the excesses of sin. But, I‘ve never known him to show fear, at least not until last night. He was obviously terrified by whatever killed him. In light of all this evidence, I believe the demon creatures have returned.”

Jolonar and Druin had a gut feeling that Martouf was right. They agreed to pray in earnest, and ask the Christians on Sahaja Minor to join them. Then, they would address the sinful actions of those in this outpost. When leaving, the men agreed to meet in two hours so they could go to the dump together. There they could examine the crime scene to verify if the killings were done by a demon creature.

A host of unseen Angelic warriors readied themselves for battle. They knew the enemy was gaining strength and this battle would be hard to win. “We have their prayers now, and soon many others will start to pray. Then, we will strike!” said their Captain. “Then we will strike!” the warriors repeated excitedly.

Meanwhile, in the underbrush surrounding the dump, the demon creatures waited. They were convinced that this time victory would be theirs. Their eyes glowed with pleasure as they planned the slaughter to come.

Later on at the crime scene, Druin and Martouf’s tests confirmed demonic involvement. When a sound caught their attention, they turned to see a demon creature at the edge of the underbrush. With an evil smile on his grotesque face, he lifted his hand and signaled for the attack to begin. Hundreds of demon creatures violently erupted from the underbrush charging straight at them, fully intent on striking them down to devour. All at once there was a brilliant flash of Holy light, and the men were surrounded by Angelic swords that blazed with glory.

The battle had begun!

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Member Comments
Member Date
Jacquelyn Horne05/17/07
Certainly different. I like the way you wove prayer into the conflict.
Jason Sanders05/18/07
Interesting story. It reminded me of Frank Peretti's THIS PRESENT DARKNESS
Patty Wysong05/21/07
*chills* I loved how you worked the horror of hell into the very beginning and then the prayer needed for successful spiritual warfare. It would've been interesting to hear some dialog between the men about the discovery. Good descriptions! --good job! :-)
Virginia Lee Bliss 05/21/07
I enjoyed this story! Spine tingling!
Rita Garcia05/23/07
Chill-giving...OH sooo well written. Really enjoyed reading this!
Verna Cole Mitchell 05/23/07
Your title was right-on target, and your story was very interesting.
Myrna Noyes05/23/07
What an imaginative and exciting story--albeit a bit gruesome! :) You kept my attention all the way through to the thrilling end! Good descriptions!
Joanne Sher 05/23/07
Definitely shadows of Peretti - this felt so real. You captivated me.
Betty Castleberry05/23/07
Naye, this is very well done. The descriptions and the suspense are top notch. I really love the last two sentences. Both thumbs up.
william price05/23/07
Some very nice work. Enjoyed it. God bless.