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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write in the SCIENCE FICTION genre (05/10/07)

TITLE: In the Light
By Stephen Watkins
05/11/07


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In The Light


It was at once painfully bright and strangely comforting. Squinting, his eyes were nothing but slits…it mattered little. The light remained the same; there was no escaping it. It was all encompassing. He closed his eyes as tightly as he could and gave in to the inevitability of it. He tried to speak.

“What’s happening? Where am I? Is anybody there?” His words dropped into his lap, having no power to travel farther.

“Please, please, somebody talk to me.” It was as if nothing existed except he and the light. Not even his words could escape it. He crumpled to his knees, powerless, weak and resigned. All that he was, his very essence, seemed to be emptying out of him. Then, just when he thought he would loose himself entirely, there was something. Summoning all of his strength, he cocked his head to one side, deliberately, purposefully. Yes, yes, he was sure of it, there was something…

Music. He heard music. Faint and distant, but still, the most amazing music he had ever heard. It grew in strength, and as it did, it filled him, and he grew stronger with it.

“Beautiful, just beautiful.” Escaped from his lips. The words startled him, not because he spoke them, but because he heard them. He rose to his feet, as the strength returned to his legs.

“Hello? Hellooo?” He asked, not really expecting an answer so much as just testing his newly reborn voice.

“Hello, my friend.” He fell backwards when he heard it. The voice sounded like singing, like part of the music, he was unsure that he had really heard it. Before he could respond, he was overcome with another sense. There was suddenly an aroma, a smell like that of a thousand upon a thousand flowers, all blossoming at the same time. It was almost overpowering, almost more than he could take. His eyes opened, as much by reflex as by conscious thought. The blinding light still encompassed him.

“Hello, is someone there?”

“Yes, hello my friend, I am here.” Immediately, the person appeared in front of him. The light had not diminished, but he could now see in the light. He immediately recognized the man. It was his best and dearest friend. He ran to him and hugged him.

“I have missed you so. It has been too long.” He said. His friend returned his embrace, then pulled away.

“What are these words you speak? Some I know, but others I do not.”

“I said I mmm you so…I mean it hhh bbb ttt lll.” The words would not come out. His friend just smiled.

“Walk with me. We talk.” His friend said.

It was then he realized. His friend had no words for the past, and no words for the future, but only words for the present. He tried to think of the words himself, but they had slipped away from his mind.

“It is beautiful, is it not?” His friend asked as they walked.

“It is perfect, just perfect.” He answered.

“I like walk with you, you truly my friend.”

“Thank you Jesus, I like walk with you too.”


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This article has been read 446 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Janice Cartwright05/19/07
Though perhaps not stylistic or trendy, I feel your article answered the challenge to write in the science fiction genre.

First of all our Creator is scientist extraordinaire; Heaven is futuristic (for us) and fictional because none of us really know what it will be like.

Excellent writing!!

Dan Louise Mann05/23/07
I like the whole concept here of how we will live in the present in heaven. Some very well-written lines within this entry.

However, even though I know you were trying to get across the idea of present tense speaking, it jarred me a little to hear Jesus speak in chopped English, almost like an English-As-Second-Language speaker. You did use a present tense verb earlier for Jesus' speech "I AM here," so it seems that your last lines wouldn't have dented your present tense idea if you had your characters say "You ARE my friend." and "I love TO walk..." instead of the very abbreviated speech.

Thursday will tell whether the judges thought this was science fiction, but I liked it anyway. :o) Kudos to you!
Dee Yoder 08/17/07
Wow! I missed a good one! It's flowing and certainly not what I expected from this genre. Very encouraging and beautiful, and descritpive.