Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write in the HISTORICAL genre (05/03/07)

TITLE: Lost Billycan Reef
By Esther Gellert
05/07/07


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Harry Chapman paused in his search along the creek. He rubbed a hand across his face. The mud covering his hands stuck to the three-day-old growth covering his chin.

“Where is it? It’s got to be here somewhere.”

Harry’s closest friends would not have recognized him right now. He was covered in mud, with twigs and leaves sticking out of his tangled hair. His wild eyes darted back and forth, his hands twitched restlessly and his tall frame moved constantly, head turning endlessly from side to side.

Harry forced himself to stand still for a moment. He closed his eyes and took his mind backwards in time to when he had crossed this creek three days ago.

He had been on his way to Thomas Nelson’s farm to pay a call on Daisy. Thomas’ wife had been unable to produce sons, but their three daughters were very popular. Men had outnumbered women in this community by fifteen to one since Jacob Walters found gold in his creek last summer.

Harry, a farmer himself, had managed to resist the lure of the goldfields, and was well on his way to winning the hand of Thomas’ daughter, Daisy. Because her sisters Marigold and Elizabeth were more pleasing to the eye he had only one serious competitor.

Last Saturday, Harry had shaved, scrubbed behind his ears until his neck tingled and dressed in his best suit. He filled his billycan with blackberries for Daisy who made up for her lack of looks by being the best cook in the district. Instead of following the long winding road to Nelson’s, Harry had decided to cut across country. He hoped to arrive before his competitor, Ned O’Riley.

Climbing down into the gully along Woori Yallock Creek, Harry found a tree had fallen across the creek, making a perfect place for him to cross without getting dirty. Scrambling up the steep slope on the far side of the creek, he had slipped, muddying his pants and jarring his wrist.

He sat a moment, cradling his sore wrist. That’s when he noticed a large chunk of quartz sticking out of the bank beside him. Brushing some of the dirt away, he had uncovered what appeared to be the start of a very large quartz vein and, running through it, he could see a thin gold line. The man who staked a claim on this would end up very wealthy.

Images exploded in his mind of himself and Daisy, living on a large farm, herds of cattle and sheep and fields full of crops, and a house full of children’s laughter.

Harry had carefully re-covered the quartz vein and hung his billycan on a small tree close by so that when he returned he would be able to find the spot and stake his claim.

Harry was speechless when he first saw Daisy that evening. At that moment, he thought she was even more beautiful than the painting of young Queen Victoria, which graced the parlour wall.

As Harry stood up to wait for Daisy to find a seat, he spied Ned O’Riley walking up the lane.

“I must take a moment to apologize for my soiled appearance. I had a fall on my way here,” he began to explain after the initial pleasantries had been dealt with. “I’ve found … Well, I …” he cleared his throat nervously, “I mean, well, what I’m trying to say is…” Ned's footsteps could be heard on the veranda. “Daisy, I’m hoping that I will very soon be able to speak to your father about our future together.”

Daisy had blushed shyly and Harry felt his chest puff out with pride as he considered all the things he would buy her when he had dug up that beautiful quartz reef and it’s hidden treasure.

After a lovely evening with Daisy, marred only by the presence of Ned, Harry had hurried back to the creek. In the dark he had not been able to find his billycan. He spent a restless night in his hut, and returned early next morning to stake his claim.

It had been three days now, and Harry still could not find the spot. He thought he knew this creek like the back of his hand, but he was completely bewildered. His billycan was nowhere to be found, nor was the fallen tree he had crossed the creek on.

“Must be here,” he muttered as he turned to search the creek once more.

********

Editor’s note: This is based on a story told by my Grandparents. “Lost Billycan Reef” was never found and has become a local legend.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 551 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Donna Emery05/10/07
A very good story. Did he ever win Daisy? I love this because it's true. Very well written. Great title!
Patty Wysong05/10/07
What a fun story! The fact that it's based on truth is even better. Your description of Daisy's response was great and I could see his chest puff out! You did a good job tying it all together. Very good!! :-) Hugs!
Martha Helton05/10/07
What a fun story to read! Great dialogue as well!
Jacquelyn Horne05/11/07
This is really good. And very well written. The story is unique.
dub W05/11/07
Delightful story, well done. A quick nit pick note. Don't put quote marks around italics. Thanks for sharing this story.
Benjamin Graber05/14/07
Since you left a comment at my poem, I wanted to make sure to return the smile...
I think this is a great story - and you did a great job of bringing it to life! Keep up the good work!
Lynda Schultz 05/14/07
This captured me from the first and left me begging to know what happened to Harry and Daisy! Nice work.
Jan Ackerson 05/14/07
Fascinating, since I know virtually nothing about Australia! I really enjoyed this.

Most of your sentences that have "had ______ " verb constructions could be simplified to plain ol' past tense. Makes for a smoother read, and saves you precious words.

Thanks for sharing this bit of family history!
Jeffrey Snell05/14/07
Well-written! You established the setting well and I really felt for Harry. Felt a little rushed, but that's understandable. Good solid effort.
Betty Castleberry05/14/07
I love the fact that this is a true story. The ending was a bit abrupt, but definitely left me wanting more. This was a very entertaining read.
Joanne Sher 05/14/07
What a neat legend - and great description. Enjoyed this very much.
Sheri Gordon05/15/07
I love the old legends -- great historical genre story. Nice job.
David Butler 05/16/07
Ozzie though I be, I hadn't heard of that legend! My horizon broadens every hour. What a great way to learn more of our own history. Well written.
Rita Garcia05/16/07
Wonderful! Well written!
Sara Harricharan 05/16/07
Wow. A ghost reef. Very interesting! I liked this legend here and especially the character of Daisy even though she's breifly mentioned. Good job.
Sara Harricharan 05/17/07
***Congrats on your highly commended!***
Emily Blakely05/17/07
Ditto congrats on 'highly recommended' recognition! I loved the story. We have a local author, Bonnie Leon, who has a fiction series set in Australia. If you are interested,www.bonnieleon.com to check her out. God bless.
Suzanne R05/17/07
So did he marry her? What a beautiful story with a real sense of time and place - well done!
Cherry Bieber05/22/07
This is excellent and I enjoyed every bit of it. You tell the story very well. I, too, would like to know, did he get the girl? :0)