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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write in the HISTORICAL genre (05/03/07)

TITLE: upon a hill
By Kevin Rodgers
05/07/07


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upon a hill

outside the dreary city walls,
atop a creepy hill,
a hoard of people ranted,
as the crowd grew larger still.

as the blistering wind blew strongly,
and the dust began to rise,
there hung a bloody carpenter,
right before their eyes.

HIS wounds revealed places,
where HE had been whipped,
and the soldiers cast lots,
for HIS clothes that were stripped.

spikes pierced HIS hands,
and severed muscles in HIS feet,
causing pain to flood HIS body,
while being ravished by the scorching heat.

a mocking crown of thorns
were thrust upon HIS head,
causing many deep gashes,
that streamed blood bright red.

as the blood and tears,
began to drip from HIS chin,
HIS pure soul was intruded,
by each of our sins.

as HE heard the taunting crowd,
HIS heart filled with hurt,
while HIS mother knelt below HIM,
in the blood-stained dirt.

then an eerie darkness crept in,
and fully engulfed all the light,
and for three hours, the day,
became as dark as night.

“it is finished”,
were the last words HE said,
HE then exhaled a labored breathe,
closed HIS eyes, then was dead.

beaten and fastened,
to a splintery cross,
HE gave HIS life,
for the hopelessly lost.

a perfect sacrifice,
sent from the LORD above,
this righteous gift given,
for man, through HIS love.

the crucifixion HE endured,
was massive and great,
and yet HE willfully died,
for all our sake!

all of this brutal torturing,
slowing came to pass,
so that the prophesies of old,
would come true at last.

HIS death was determined,
before time began,
an unfailing plot fashioned,
by GOD’s own hands.


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This article has been read 448 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Donna Emery05/10/07
Very good poem and a graphic but good depiction of that wonderful day. I don't think you needed to capitalize the words "him", "his" and "he" but the poem was good and I look forward to reading more of your work.
Alfreda Byars05/11/07
Excellent. Greatly written.
I especially like the attention you gave HIM by exalting who HE is.
Patty Wysong05/12/07
I loved the description here--it helped see Christ's suffering from a different angle. Very good! (to join the 'controversy': I thought having those words in all caps detracted from the overall scene, but I Definately would have capped the 'H' at the beginning of each of them!!) :-) :-) Once again, very good!!!
Jeanette Oestermyer 05/13/07
What a beautiful poem. I have no nits on this one. I hope and pray the powers that be notice this one.
God Bless
Brenda Welc05/17/07
Excellent writing here, God truly blessed you as you wrote. This was very descriptive and I loved it.